


Hold My Hand and We'll Get Through This

by shelteredbyshadow



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: AU, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, F/F, Fluff, G!P, Implied/Referenced Dubious Consent, Love, Mating, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Omegaverse, Past Rape/Non-con, Protective Lexa, just barely implied, lots of talking sometimes, mentions of past rape, there will be some angst later
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-04
Updated: 2016-08-11
Packaged: 2018-05-04 21:47:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 39,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5349704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shelteredbyshadow/pseuds/shelteredbyshadow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Omegaverse. After the mountain, Clarke stayed with her people and she and Lexa reconciled so that they could start work on another alliance. This takes places a while after that. Clarke doesn't realize that her heat is starting until she finds herself alone in a tent with the Commander. Having been raised in a culture that taught her that Alphas can't control themselves during an Omega's heat, Clarke is fearful. What will the Commander do? </p><p>There should be lots of fluff and a good amount of angst, so tune in if you're into that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Surprise, Surprise

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! So I honestly can't believe I have started this story and am not sure if I'm going to keep it going, we'll see I guess, but here it is. I've never written anything like this before, so let me know what you think. As always, I'd love to hear your comments.

As Clarke walked through the flaps surrounding the entrance to the commander’s tent, she had to hold her breath to steady herself for a moment. The rush of dominant Alpha pheromones that hit her the second she crossed that threshold made her stomach do strange things that she wasn’t used to. Normally, when she was facing an Alpha her stomach clenched and her body trembled in fear as a sense of dread came over her knowing that one false move or pheromone would have any of the Alphas was used to attacking her for sex, dominance, or both. Life for Omegas like Clarke had always been dangerous on the Ark for that reason. But, with the commander she felt safe for some reason. Instinctively, her body seemed to know that Lexa wouldn’t hurt her. 

At least, that’s what Clarke assumed because whenever she found herself with the commander, her body trembled and her stomach clenched in reaction to emotions that were decidedly much farther from fear and closer to love and desire than Clarke had ever known. None of her past suiters had ever elicited such emotions in Clarke before and it left her confused and sad because Lexa wasn’t even a suiter. 

In fact, as far as Clarke could tell Lexa wasn’t even the slightest bit interested in her anymore. The brief kiss they had shared before the mountain was never mentioned again after their reconciliation and renewed alliance and there was no way Clarke was going to be the one to bring it up. The last thing she needed was to anger the commander and ruin their relationship as well as potentially damage the already strained alliance the two young leaders had managed to scrape back together. Even though it was getting more and more difficult for Clarke to be near the other girl, she would keep her emotions to herself at all costs. So, when Clarke entered Lexa’s tent, she took a breath, steadied her body’s reactions, which seemed to be slightly worse than usual for some reason, and then continued in to find the commander in the room.

Lexa was standing at her table looking over paperwork. She as wearing simple black pants and a flowy grey tank top that accentuated her arms and tattoos, making Clarke’s stomach do an extra few summersaults, and her hair was braided, but loosely. Her face was most likely left unpainted as well, but Clarke couldn’t see that yet. Clarke had come to know this particular style of wardrobe as Lexa’s relaxed, not-currently-in-war attire and she couldn’t help but admire the view for a second before calling out her greeting. “Lexa.”

Clarke watched as all of the muscles in Lexa’s body seemed to stiffen as she stood straight and turned to face the blonde before replying with a simple, “Clarke.” 

Clarke nodded in response and walked a few steps closer to the Alpha, still leaving plenty of room so as not to seem too challenging. Although she felt safe around the girl and had already challenged her several times in the past, these kind of actions had become instinct for Clarke over the years. Knowing how to keep Alpha’s calm and pacified was literally a matter of life and death for an Omega and old habits were difficult to break. When she stopped moving, Clarke spoke again, “You sent for me?”

Nodding, Lexa motioned toward the paperwork on the table behind her. “I wish to discuss future trade routes with you as well as your people’s potential contribution.”

“Of course,” Clarke said, nodding eagerly as she stepped up to the table to start looking over the papers. She fought hard to repress a shiver at her new proximity to the strong Alpha and did her best to focus on the task at hand. Lexa turned back to the table and the two began to work. 

The two spent several long hours pouring over the papers, debating possibilities, and hashing out plans, but Clarke was having an increasingly hard time focusing on what she was doing and saying. At some point her body had started to heat up and tremble almost violently while the clenching in her stomach had started to turn borderline painful. Clarke felt flushed and about an hour ago her body had begun to sweat. She was beginning to worry Lexa would notice and was planning what she might be able to say to get Lexa to give her a break in their discussion until morning, hopefully giving Clarke a chance to get control of herself, when Lexa broke off in the middle of whatever she had been saying about transporting goods and asked, “Are you feeling alright, Clarke?”

Flinching, Clarke took a step back from the commander and replied in a rush, “Yes. Of course. I’m sorry, Lexa. I think I’m just tired. Maybe we could continue in the morning?”

Lexa did not reply. She simply studied Clarke for several long minutes, taking in her reactions and appearance, before taking a deep breath and sighing. “You are entering a heat,” she stated calmly.

“What? No, I-“ Clarke gasped, cutting herself off. She was, it made sense, she just hadn’t realized why all of her reactions to the commander had been stronger than normal. Panicking, Clarke cursed her stupidity. Everyone knew that Alphas can’t control themselves near an Omega in heat, that’s why it is always the Omega’s responsibility to recognize one coming on and get somewhere safe, otherwise suffer the consequences. Heat put Alphas in a frenzy when they smelled it and there would be no stopping them from their goal. It had happened to Clarke on the Ark once and she was not eager to repeat the experience. Even if the idea of finally being with Lexa made her knees weak, Clarke was suddenly terrified. Alphas often blamed Omega’s in those situations, even becoming vindictive and violent, she didn’t want Lexa to be resentful toward her. She started to back away from the Alpha, who was still watching her with a calm interest, as Clarke began to rush out in a panic “You’re right. I’m-I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize what it was. It’s my fault. I’m sorry, Lexa. Please, I can just go. I’ll just-please I’ll just go. If you’ll just let me, I can get out of here before-“

Clarke broke off into a sob as Lexa reached out a hand to grab her arm gently, but restrictively. She had started to edge toward the entrance to the tent while talking, hoping beyond hope that Lexa would just let her leave, but resigned herself to her fate when the other girl restrained her. It was her fault for putting herself in this situation and not recognizing the signs. She was about to tilt her head to the side and submit, like Lexa’s pheromones had been demanding she do ever since she had first smelled them, when the Alpha began to speak. “Relax, Clarke. You are safe. No harm will befall you while you are with me. No one would dare touch you. Know that.”

Clarke clenched her eyes in shame. It was sweet of Lexa to try to comfort her, but by the sound of it she had her mind made up. She was keeping Clarke tonight. Clarke was hers. Not trusting her voice, she nodded and then tilted her head to the side and waited, her heat spiking to a new level of warmth, arousal, and pain at the thought of actually being satiated instead of just suppressed, but Lexa did not pounce on her.

“What are you doing? What is wrong?” Lexa questioned slowly. At first, Clarke thought she had done something wrong, but the genuine confusion she heard in the girl’s voice had her opening her eyes.

“Submitting to you?” Clarke said questioningly. “I’m sorry. I realize I have put you in a difficult position and that you will not be able to control your urges. I realize that it’s my fault, so I’m trying to make it easier on you so that maybe you’ll…” Clarke trailed off and looked down, unable to look in the other girl’s eyes as she begged for mercy and forgiveness. “That maybe you’ll go easy on me and won’t hate me after… for putting you in the situation. Although I understand if you do, but please.” When she finished Clarke tilted her head to the side again, hoping and praying this won’t end too badly, but still unable to look into Lexa’s eyes. 

After a moment she felt Lexa move and she braced herself for a hit, kiss, shove, something, and completely not expecting the gentle hand that rested itself on her face and using a slight pressure to tilt her head back up and over so that Lexa could look into her eyes. Clarke flinched at the look of sheer repulsion she saw on the commander’s face. “I am not going to take advantage of you,” Lexa said in a voice that implied that Lexa thought the mere idea was sin itself.

Confused again, Clarke said, “But you said it yourself, I’m in heat.”

“That doesn’t mean I’m going to force myself on you!” Lexa said, her voice becoming more and more confused and appalled.

Clarke was at a loss for words for several seconds before she finally managed to sputter out, “But, how? How is that possible? You’re an Alpha!”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Lexa questioned harshly.

Flinching back slightly, Clarke tried to show her neck again to appease the anger that she sensed building in the Alpha, still hoping to make this night as un-scaring as possible, but Lexa’s gentle grip on her face still wouldn’t let her. So, she settled for making her voice as soft and unaggressive as possible as she replied, “Just that Alphas can’t stop themselves around an Omega in heat. Instincts take over. It’s okay. I understand. It’s my fault.”

“That’s what they taught you on the Ark!” Lexa snapped, causing Clarke to flinch much harder this time. In response, Lexa’s other hand came up so that she was gently cradling the Omega’s face as she continued in a softer voice. “Oh, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. You’re safe. I promise. You’re safe. I’m not angry at you, I promise. I’m just confused. They teach you that an Omega’s heat makes an Alpha’s urges uncontrollable? That is untrue, Clarke. Look at me. Do I look out of control to you?”

Clarke was ready to defend everything she had been told on the Ark using the things she had seen as evidence, but held her tongue when she considered the girl’s last question because, no, Lexa seemed perfectly in control. In fact, she was even keeping in contact with the Omega, providing her comfort and connection and not showing any signs of it affecting her. Frowning, Clarke shook her head as much as she could. “No, you seem fine. Why aren’t y- oh” Clarke cut herself off as she realized it. Lexa’s disinterest in her must be even deeper than she had thought. She had never heard of an Alpha being able to resist an Omega simply because of a general lack of attraction, but she supposed it was possible. “Oh, I understand. I apologize for assuming, then. Please, I didn’t mean to offend you. I hope this won’t affect your opinion of me. I’ll just go-“

Lexa cut her off this time. “What are you talking about?”

“You’re able to resist me because you do not find me attractive – want me at all – that’s fine, Lexa, I’ll just go and yo-“

“That’s not it, Clarke. I assure you I find you very attractive and am actually finding it very difficult to resist your call, but it is possible for an Alpha to do. See? What they taught you on the Ark was untrue. I will not take advantage of you.” 

“You won’t?” Clarke asked in a small voice. Her Omega had flared when Lexa admitted attraction for her, but was then crushed when Lexa still refused to give into the things inside of Clarke that were calling for a mate to claim her.

“No! Of course not, Clarke. For my people a heat is sacred. It is something to be shared among mates, discussed ahead of time if it is a first mating, cherished. Our Omega’s desires are paramount and respected. The Alphas know that anyone discovered taking advantage of the increased submissiveness of an Omega will be punished severely. You’re safe here.”

Clarke starred at her for several long seconds before closing her eyes in relief, sighing, and relaxing into Lexa’s hold for a moment. It felt so good to be held by the Alpha she desire so much. But, after a moment, what’s left of her rational brain seemed to remember what was going on, so she said, “Thank you, Lexa. You don’t know what that means to me. I’ll just leave, then, so that I don’t make you more uncomfortable.”

“No,” Lexa said simply.

Clarke’s eyes flew open. She should have known this was too good to be true. “What?” she gasped. 

Stroking her cheek, Lexa tried to calm the panic she had accidently caused. “No, that’s not what I meant. I just don’t want you to leave if the attitude in your camp allows Alphas to take advantage of Omegas in heat. You are safe here. I will not risk putting you in that situation. That is- unless you wish to head back because you have one you wish to mate there…” Lexa trailed off while showing a rare bit of insecurity, as if she were truly unaware of Clarke’s feelings for her.

Clarke, on the other hand, was experiencing a warm feeling fill her at Lexa’s obvious care and concern for her and so she rushed to appease the commander’s fears. “No, no mate, Lexa. There is only one Alpha I would ever want to mate me.”  
Lexa’s eyes bore into Clarke’s as she asked tentatively, “And this person is not at your camp?”

“No, they’re here.”

Hurt seemed to flash behind Lexa’s eyes for a split second before she said, “Very well, if they are in the camp I can send for them, if you wish.”

Realizing the other girl still wasn’t understanding, Clarke, on a sudden rush of bravery, hurried to clarify for her. “No, I meant here as in this room. So, I doubt you’ll need to send for her,” she finished with a small, unsure smile.

This time it was Lexa’s turn to be speechless. She simply stood there for at least a minute before slowly extracting her hands from Clarke’s face. “I already told you, Clarke, I will not take advantage of you.”

Clarke instinctively let out an embarrassing whine at the loss of touch, the symptoms of her heat having worsened exponentially as soon as the Alpha rejected her, and ducked her head in shame. If she wasn’t sure of Lexa’s feelings before, she certainly was now. “Of course. Again, I’m sorry if I offended you. I would appreciate it if you would just forget my feelings for you in the future and I hope you will still be willing to work with me.“

“No! Clarke that was not me rejecting you,” Lexa said firmly.

Clarke hesitantly raised her head. It had sure felt like a rejection. When she was looking Lexa in the eyes again Lexa said, “I’m not saying I don’t feel for you, Clarke. I do. I just cannot be sure you mean what you are implying right now, Clarke. I refuse to take advantage of you. You deserve much more than that.”

Sighing in relief, Clarke asked, “You really care for me?”

“Yes,” Lexa confirmed. “And I would like nothing more than to discuss pursuing a mating with you, but not during your heat.”

“What if I want you to mate me now?” Clarke asked before she could stop herself. Suddenly fearful again, she bit her lip in worry that she had crossed a line, pushed too far.

Lexa chuckled softly, “I’m sure you do, Clarke, but I can’t. I can keep you safe though. And hold you, if you like? Throughout the heat? In the morning we can send for some of our medicines that help and you are welcome to stay with me for the duration for the heat so that I may keep you safe.”

Clarke couldn’t believe her ears. Renewed love and affection for the Alpha were running rampant in her chest as she nodded repeatedly. “I would like that, if you are offering. I don’t wish to be a burden though.”  
“It is no burden. It would be my honor,” Lexa assured her.

Smiling, Clarke allowed herself to be led to the bed of furs hidden behind a small privacy curtain where Lexa made sure she was resting comfortably before she quickly prepared the tent for the night and crawled into the bed behind the blonde. Clarke let out a long breath of contentment and utter happiness at the safety and warmth she received with just the Alpha’s arms around her. “Rest now. Ai hod yu in, Klark,” Lexa whispered into the Omega’s hair as she felt her relax. 

Smiling, Clarke asked, “What does that mean?”

“That is not important, tonight. You should rest,” Lexa dismissed. She was not ready for Clarke to know yet. She would have to wait until the girl was out if heat before revealing her feelings. Clarke huffed, but nodded into the pillow and immediately began to drift off. Her body hadn’t completely hit heat yet, so it didn’t take long for her to start to fall asleep thinking about how lucky and happy she was to have found such an understanding Alpha. She couldn’t help but hold a slight fear in the back of her mind, however, that Lexa’s protectiveness and understanding was only a reaction of Clarke’s pre-heat pheromones and that once the heat truly started or ended, her Alpha would no longer feel this way towards her. But, she didn’t let the thought trouble her for long as the Alpha began to purr lightly behind her, fully sending her off into sleep at last.


	2. And so it Begins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke's heat hits full force in the middle of the night and Lexa can't get the suppressants into her fast enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, it looks like I'm keeping this story going for now, so here's the next chapter. I warned you there would be angst. I hope you guys enjoy it anyway. I'd love to hear any comments you have.  
> Now, I have two more final essays I need to write, oh joy.

Lexa woke suddenly, gasping at the most amazing, tantalizing, irresistible smell she had ever encountered. Her whole body ached and yearned in response to the cloud of pheromones surrounding her and it was all she could do to keep herself in check as she frantically tried to remember what was going on. It had been so long since she was this close to an Omega that she was interested in during their heat that her normally sound resolve was wavering slightly as her body screamed at her to find the Omega it already considered hers and officially claim them. Which is when it hit her. Suddenly, she remembered Clarke, her heat starting, the panic she had seen in her eyes, the sky people’s ridiculous beliefs, the whole situation, and although the extreme form of desire she felt was still there, it was as if a cold pale of water had been poured on her and she was able to regain her control out of concern for the Omega she cared so greatly for. 

Their bodies had shifted apart on the bed of furs while they slept, but she could still feel the Omega next to her, currently writhing in agony as she slept. As she turned to observe the flushed beauty, Lexa was immensely glad that Clarke’s heat hadn’t woken the other girl yet. Clarke looked to be in the middle of a rather strong heat and Lexa wasn’t sure if she would be able to resist the girl if she tried offering herself to her once again. When she turned down the girl’s repeated offerings of submission earlier that day, it had nearly been the end of her and Clarke had only been in the early stages of her pre-heat at the time. 

So, Lexa slipped from the bed of furs as quickly and quietly as possible, hoping not to jostle and wake the Omega, before making her way to the entrance of her tent. When she went to walk, however, she was distressed to find that her sleep pants were now quite tight in the crotch and it made walking comfortably a slow process. She did, however, eventually make it to the entrance where she found her two night guards. She couldn’t suppress the low, threatening growl that built up in her chest when she noticed that they were panting and their postures were abnormally straight. Clearly they could smell Clarke’s heat as well. 

Internally, Lexa thanked her ancestors for the fact that her culture respected their Omegas enough to train Alphas to control themselves. Otherwise she would have had no choice but to tear these Alphas to pieces simply for being competition standing too close to her Omega. But, they knew better than to make a move and Clarke was already in Lexa’s bed, whether Lexa would ever get the honor of being her mate or not, which was good enough for the Alpha inside of Lexa to calm down for the moment. The Alpha had resigned herself long ago to the idea that, although she could often smell Clarke’s body’s reactions to her, Clarke had no desire to pursue a relationship with her. She hadn’t known if the Omega’s disinterest had stemmed from what happened at the mountain or simply a stronger desire for another, potentially even continued heartbreak and resentment over the loss of the murderer Finn, but Lexa had accepted it. No matter how strongly her body had screamed at her to try another attempt at courting the Omega it craved, she respected Clarke’s decision. And now that she had learned she had even the slightest bit of chance at winning Clarke’s heart, the Alpha was ready to be the one to do anything it takes to keep Clarke safe and provide her comfort, especially after seeing how scared Clarke had been the night before. 

Lexa made a mental note to herself to further discuss why Clarke’s fearful and shame filled reaction had been so strong as soon as the girl was in her right mind again. Although Lexa now understood that the Sky People seemed to believe that an Alpha who had smelled an Omega’s heat would be a slave to their instincts and therefore nearly unstoppable in their quest to claim, it didn’t make sense that Clarke would be quite so afraid of Lexa’s intimate contact. Surly the Sky Girl knew that even in a crazed state Lexa would never hurt her, not again. It made Lexa wonder if something had happened in Clarke’s past. Something bad. Potentially with someone Clarke had trusted. But that thought made Lexa growl to herself again, which made the guards she had been standing behind whimper slightly in fear and submission, breaking her out of her thoughts. 

After snapping out of her stream of thoughts, Lexa realized that the guards had snapped to attention after her first growl and then waited in an ever increasing state of fear as Lexa had stood there, staring them down as she thought. Shaking her head once again, Lexa tried to relax somewhat to put the other Alphas at ease before asking them to send word to the night healer to bring a supply of the strongest heat suppressant herbs they had. The men obeyed at once and Lexa glanced back into the darkness of her tent. She debated on whether or not she should go back in, but decided against it for the moment. Clarke still seemed to be sleeping, albeit fitfully, and the fresh air that the tent entrance provided her was making it much easier to control her desires, so she decided to wait there for the healer. 

It only ended up taking a few more minutes for Nyko’s new second to appear with a bag full of supplies. Lexa was too tired and worked up to remember his name, but he was only a Beta and therefore didn’t further stress her nerves, so she listened attentively as he gave her instructions for the medicine before he handed her the bag and left. Lexa nodded to her guards, who were still cowering from her slightly, before she took one more deep breath of slightly-less Clarke filled air and reentered the tent, the bag of suppressants clutched tightly in her hands. 

The closer she got to Clarke the more and more choked she felt by the heat pheromones. The wonderful smell surrounded her, infected her, and called out to every part of her Alpha, begging her to give up her control. Lexa had never felt anything like it. But she held strong and gently sat down on the edge of the bed next to the blonde.

Clarke’s sleep seemed to have only gotten more fitful while Lexa was away. The girl’s hair was completely wild and strewn around her head, her entire body seemed to be flushed and sweating (if the way Clarke’s shirt seemed to cling to every inch and curve of her had anything to go by), and her face held an expression of pure need. Lexa had to bite her lip to control herself, it was the sexiest thing she had ever seen. Lexa braced herself one more time before reaching forward and gently squeezing Clarke’s shoulder while calling her name to wake her. Clarke’s sleep had been so disturbed already that it didn’t take much for her to wake and, as soon as she did, her eyes shot open and she began to scan the room frantically. 

As Clarke assessed the situation, Lexa saw nothing but pure panic in her eyes. It was exponentially stronger than it had been the night before and Lexa’s heart froze in her chest once again as that thought about Clarke’s past tried to push itself to the front of her mind once again. But, she fought it off and did her best to comfort the Omega by stroking her hand up and down Clarke’s arm, up to her face, and back down to repeat. The action made Clarke’s eyes snap to Lexa as if she hadn’t really noticed her presence yet. Upon seeing her, Clarke tried to shrink in on herself and pull away from Lexa’s touch at the same time. All air left Lexa’s lungs as her inner Alpha howled at the rejection until Lexa managed to reason with it that Clarke was still groggy and confused. She had woken up in heat, which was obviously something that terrified the girl in general, and she was in a dark, semi-unfamiliar place with a mysterious, but powerful smelling Alpha looming over her. It made sense that Clarke would be scared. 

Calmed slightly, Lexa did her best to seem non-threatening as she leaned forward slightly, maintaining the light touch on Clarke’s arm as the girl curled into herself and inched away. Lexa whispered to her calmly, “You are safe, Clarke. It is me. It is alright.”

The Omega’s reaction to her voice was immediate, making Lexa’s chest puff out in response. Clarke relaxed as soon as Lexa had started talking and she looked up to make eye-contact with the Alpha as if to make sure it was really her. Once she did, Lexa watched with barely contained glee as the fear drained from Clarke’s eyes in an instant. Smiling slightly, Lexa continued her stroking of Clarke’s arm as she spoke again, “Your heat has fully arrived, Clarke.”

The girl seemed to freeze under her touch as her eyes drifted down to Lexa’s hand, which was still running up and down her arm, before snapping back up to take in Lexa’s position over her. Then, she nodded slightly without meeting Lexa’s eyes again, as if she had resigned herself to a decision, and tilted her head slightly to expose her neck. Lexa’s body jolted forward a few centimeters before she could think in response to the act of submission, but once she realized what Clarke must be thinking, she immediately froze herself and cursed her stupidity. She should have known Clarke would react this way. Slowly, she removed her hand from the Omega, causing a slight whine to leave Clarke, which was almost enough to break Lexa. But, she held strong, backed off slightly, and said gently, “No, Clarke. You don’t need to do that, remember? You’re safe here.”

Slowly, Clarke seemed to process her words before eventually turning her head to meet her gaze again, leaving her head cocked in a pose of half submission that Lexa was confused to find adorable while it turned her on to no end. Then, Clarke nodded shakily at her and said, “Right, I’m sorry, Lexa. I don’t know what I was thinking. I’m so-“

“There is no need to apologize,” Lexa interrupted softly, while wishing that she could remove any fear, doubt, and/or uncertainty from Clarke’s mind for the rest of her life. She prayed for the day that Clarke trusted her completely. “I understand completely. I was just waking you because I had the healer bring some suppressants for you. I figured we would both sleep more comfortably if you took them as early as possible in you heat.”

For a moment, Clarke’s eyes flashed as if she wanted to apologize again, for what Lexa wasn’t entirely sure, but the reaction had spiked somewhere in the middle of her last sentence, so she assumed it had something to do with Clarke’s fear that she was being a burden on Lexa. Wishing to make it clear that nothing Clarke could do would ever be too much trouble for her, Lexa reached out to stroke her arm comfortingly again as she said, “It’s alright, Clarke. It is my honor to help you. Alright?” 

After a moment, Clarke sunk into the touch and nodded shakily again without saying anything. Lexa sighed and said, “Good. Now let me get those suppressants.” Lexa stood to retrieve the medicine and returned as quickly as she could. Then, as she carefully measured the proper amount of the liquid mixture for the first dose, she carefully recited for Clarke the instructions she had been given for the medicine. Clarke nodded along and only let out a mildly disgusted groan at the taste, accompanied by a sharp grimace, which had Lexa’s body flushing and pants straining once again. That deep, rumbling groan had been too close to another, more pleasant moan, which Lexa was ashamed to admit to herself she had imagined Clarke making repeatedly in the past.

Shaking her head at herself, Lexa stood quickly to return the medicine to the table, not noticing the way Clarke’s eyes had locked in on her body’s responses. After setting the bottle down, Lexa turned around, intending to make her way back to bed, only to be completely surprised to find Clarke standing directly in front of her with less than a foot of space between them. Either Clarke was getting quieter or Lexa was more distracted by Clarke’s pheromones than she had thought because she had no idea the girl had followed her. But, that didn’t concern her for long when Clarke took another step closer to her and Lexa noticed the desperate look in her eyes. 

She was about to ask Clarke what was wrong, worried the medicine had reacted badly, when Clarke began to plead with her, “Lexa, please, I need you to claim me. I need you. Please, I want you to claim me. Mate me. Take me. I can see you want me. Lexa, please. Lexaaa.” Clarke ended her plea with an extended moan of her name and Lexa snapped. Clarke’s pheromones were everywhere and there was now the distinct smell of Clarke’s normal arousal mixed in, driving her crazy. Add that to Clarke’s pleading with her and Lexa’s will shattered. She launched herself forward the remaining few inches it took to close the distance between them in order to bring Clarke into a passionate kiss. It was nothing like the gentle, calm first kiss they had shared all those months ago. Clarke’s skin was burning as Lexa wrapped her in her arms, Clarke melting into her without resistance, and the Alpha in Lexa tried its best to consume the girl.

Lexa’s hands roamed everywhere she could reach, finding every exposed inch of that amazing, sinfully smooth and hot skin as the kiss continued to get hotter and more passionate. Before Lexa even fully comprehended how it had happened, Clarke had pulled Lexa’s shirt over her head, along with her bindings, before completely stripping herself of her shirt, pants, and bindings, leaving her in just her clearly soaked under garments, as she attempted to lead Lexa back to the bed of furs. 

But, it was as Lexa was staring, helplessly engrossed by the beauty of mouth-watering curves and deliciously soft and pale skin that had been revealed before her, that she regained some form of her senses and remembered that this was the woman she was in love with. She couldn’t take advantage of her. Not only was it forbidden by her people, but she had sworn to Clarke that she would be safe with her, she owed it to Clarke. 

Closing her eyes in shame for a moment, Lexa felt like she could cry for the first time in a very long time. How could she have been so thoughtless and stupid? Clarke would never trust her, want her, outside of her heat after this. All traces of the overpowering desire were gone as she realized the consequences her slip would have and she had to swallow several times to keep the lump in her throat down before she opened her eyes to look at Clarke and beg her forgiveness. 

Lexa cursed herself again at what she saw. The Omega who had been confident and determined a moment ago now had her arms crossed in front of her chest, shoulders slumped, head down, tears streaming down her face as she started to shake. She had clearly interpreted Lexa’s hesitation as a rejection. Lexa realized she might even think it was in response to Clarke’s appearance, if the way the Omega was attempting to cover as much of herself as she could while unable to function enough to find her clothes again because of her sobbing, and Lexa felt as if she could throw herself into a fire in response to the pain she had caused her love. Why did she constantly seem to hurt this woman who her only desire for was to take away her pain? 

Thinking frantically, Lexa tried to figure out how to fix the situation. After a moment, she came up with a plan that she hoped would work and slowly took a step toward the girl, reaching out to wrap her arms around the shaking body. Although Clarke flinched almost violently at the touch, she seemed too distraught and conflicted to know if she wanted to pull away or not, so she let Lexa hold her. Lexa did her best to comfort her by stroking her, purring softly, and whispering all sorts of apologies in between words of praise and attempts at an explanation into the Omega’s ear. After what felt like an eternity of getting nowhere, something Lexa said seemed to have an effect on Clarke, or maybe it was the suppressants finally helping calm down her scattered, extra-strength emotions, because she finally stopped crying and relaxed slightly in Lexa’s arms. 

A moment later, Clarke pulled her head back enough to see Lexa’s face. She didn’t look her in the eyes though, they seemed to be trained more on her chin/left cheek, but Lexa took it as a good sign and immediately began to speak, “Clarke, I was not rejecting you. You are the most beautiful, amazing, most desirable person I have ever encountered and I would like nothing more than to mate you. Nothing. But I can’t. I promised you I would not and I will keep this promise to you, Clarke. No matter how much I want to worship you right now, I can’t. Please, understand. Don’t cry anymore, please.”

Clarke patiently let Lexa talk herself out before nodding slightly, seeming to consider her options and build up her courage, and asking in a voice so fragile Lexa was worried one wrong move would shatter the girl forever, “You weren’t repulsed by the sight of me? Because it seemed-you looked-it looked like that’s what happened.”

“No!” Lexa said with so much force she felt Clarke momentarily tense in her arms again before melting more and more into her with every word Lexa followed it with. “I swear, Clarke, I am honestly not sure you aren’t a goddess who has fallen from the sky in disguise. It is taking every ounce of control I have to hold back. Every. Ounce. I have never felt a pull this strong before.” It was at that moment that Lexa suddenly realized she was holding a mostly naked Clarke in her hands and an extra strong spike of desire shot through her body as if to prove her words true. 

Clarke hummed happily into Lexa’s bare chest in response and Lexa had to hold down a shiver. After a moment, Clarke’s body continued to slacken in her arms and Lexa realized the suppressants must truly be kicking in, calming Clarke’s swirling emotions and rampaging hormones and allowing the Omega to relax enough to sleep in the comfort that Lexa’s arms, luckily, still seemed to provide. Although, Lexa was still quite certain that Clarke would never trust her again once she was thinking properly and remembered Lexa’s unforgivable actions. 

Closing her eyes for a moment to hold back tears once again, Lexa held Clarke until the girl seemed completely and utterly relaxed. Then, she shifted so that she could lift Clarke and carried her back to the bed where she laid her down and covered her up gently. Pulling back, Lexa was preparing herself to sleep on the floor across the room with a spare pillow and fur, thinking Clarke would prefer to find her there and not in bed with her, mostly naked taking further advantage of her, when she woke up in the morning clear headed. But, Clarke woke slightly and stopped her from pulling away.

Clarke grabbed Lexa’s wrist and pulled Lexa down into the bed with her mumbling, “Hold me, Lexa,” into Lexa’s chest as soon as she was close enough.

“I do not think that is a good idea, Clarke,” Lexa said carefully, doing her best not to make Clarke think she had rejected her yet again. 

Clarke just frowned at her and said exhaustedly, “Why? You promised you’d hold me through my heat.”

“I do not wish to take advantage of you more than I already have this evening,” Lexa explained.

“You’re not. I want you here. I’m already yours, have been for months,” Clarke whispered through a yawn. 

Lexa wanted to believe her with everything she had, but reasonably she knew that this was just Clarke’s heat addled brain speaking. Once Clarke could think properly again she would retract that statement without hesitation, Lexa was sure. But for the moment, it felt so good to pretend, to hope, that Lexa sighed and let herself relax into Clarke’s hold. She would probably never get to sleep with Clarke held tightly in her arms again. It’s possible Clarke would never even want to be close to her or alone with her again after this, so Lexa let herself be selfish for this one night and tightened her arms slightly around the blonde while whispering a quiet, “Alright, Clarke. I’m so sorry. Ai- ai hod yu in.” Then, she let herself shed a few tears as she settled into a long night of restless sleep.


	3. Mornings Suck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The girls wake up in the morning and there is a bit of a misunderstanding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I'm back already. What can I say? Making these two go through hell is way more fun than analyzing semi-obscure literature so I took a break. I hope you enjoy it. And, as always, I'm happy to hear any comments you have!

Lexa was so concerned about what Clarke’s reaction to her would be when she woke up with a mostly clear head, thanks to the strong suppressants, that she barely managed to doze lightly for brief amounts of time the rest of the night. So, when the distinct scent of another strong Alpha entering the main room of her tent drifted back to her, her body immediately snapped to attention. 

She began pumping out as much of her own overpowering, threatening, angry pheromones as she could while leaping from the bed and pulling on a jacket that had been hanging on the wall by the bed in order to cover her topless form. Then, she launched herself to the edge of the privacy curtain so that she could see who dared enter her tent in this situation, but she made sure to keep her body firmly in the entrance to her bed area so that she could keep Clarke protected and block her entirely from the view of the intruder. She would not have any other Alphas seeing Clarke in her mostly nude state without the Omega's express permission. Clarke would already have plenty of cause to be angry and hurt. She didn’t want to add to that. Lexa owed her this protection. And, if her Alpha instincts, the ones that called for her to guard what her body clearly thought of as her Omega and therefore only hers to look at, were to be satisfied at the same time, that was just purely a coincidental bonus. 

When she looked out into the main room of her tent, growling viciously, she saw one of her best warriors standing in the middle of the room looking slightly confused and scared. He opened his mouth as if to speak, potentially in greeting or explanation of his presence, but Lexa was already so furious and on edge that she wouldn't let him. Instead, she immediately began to roar out demands in the form of questions she didn't really want answers to. She just wanted to yell, so she did. “What the hell are you doing here!? I don’t ever want to see you here. I should have you killed. What were you thinking!? No, don’t speak. Leave. Now. Why are you still here?! Get out now! And leave before I decide to end your fight for this!”

The man looked as if he might have peed in his pants. As soon as Lexa had started yelling at him he cowered and froze while trying to speak and explain that she had summoned him a few days ago to meet with her and discuss how the security detail she had placed outside of Camp Jaha was faring, but as she kept screaming at him and threatening him without letting him speak, he cowered in fear even more before finally gaining enough sense to sprint out of the room without looking back.

Lexa sighed when he finally left and his pheromones began to clear from the room. She let her body relax as her protective instincts calmed down and she turned to face Clarke, who she now realized she would finally have to face considering there was no way the girl had slept through her yelling. But, when she turned around she was not expecting the sight that greeted her and it confused her and broke her heart at the same time. She barely managed to squeak out, in a much softer and confused tone, a quiet, “Clarke, what-?”

 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Clarke had been slowly regaining consciousness for at least an hour. Her body felt heavy and exhausted, but safe and warm at the same time, she just couldn't figure out why. After a while, she realized someone was holding her in her sleep. Then, the body holding her suddenly stiffened before leaving the bed in a rush. Confused, Clarke’s mind rushed back to consciousness, but she felt disoriented, confused, as if she had been drugged. She couldn't remember what happened the night before and began to panic slightly as she attempted to remember something, anything. 

She had started heat, that she was certain of, but for some reason she hadn't been too afraid. Lexa. She remembered Lexa being there are promising not to let anything happen. She had been so sweet, promising to protect her. Promising that she cared. But then, in the middle of the night the heat had hit full force. That she was certain of as well. And then...she was throwing herself at Lexa? Vaguely, she remembered pleading with the girl to take her and somehow getting her to kiss her. Then she remembered being naked and Lexa being topless as they kissed and then...Lexa rejected her. That thought caused her heart implode in her chest all over again. Her Alpha had completely rejected her while she was naked, in heat, and throwing herself at her. Shame and embarrassment bubbled up in her throat as Clarke began to recall falling apart and then Lexa's arms were around her again and...nothing. She couldn't remember anything after that.

Just then the overpowering smell of angry Alpha pheromones hit her as a loud growl rolled through the room. Lexa. She was still with Lexa. Shifting in the bed in response to her body's conflicted reaction of fear and arousal to Lexa's musk and growl, Clarke's eyes snapped open for the first time that morning. She was still naked. The panic that was just starting to set in at the realization only increased when, from across the room, she could smell Lexa's pheromones get even more suffocating as she began to yell, “What the hell are you doing here!?” She screamed while still growling.

Clarke rolled out of the bed immediately, trying to leave and do as her Alpha asked before she got any angrier. But, she was still disoriented and sluggish, so it took her a second to get her bearings and stand properly, which is when she remembered she still didn't have clothes. Lexa was still yelling, “I don't ever want to see you here. I should have you killed. What were you thinking!?”

Clarke kept her eyes to the floor, unable to face the furious commander, as she started to sob quietly and her stomach clenched painfully in fear, shame, and disappointment. She had been afraid of this. It's always the Omegas fault when they are stupid enough to let themselves be caught in a heat near an Alpha. Of course Lexa was furious with her. She should have known that Lexa wouldn't be able to resist her once the heat fully started. She should have known it was too good to be true. That Lexa would not be as understanding once the heat forced her into mating Clarke, which was clearly something the Alpha hadn't wanted. Quickly, Clarke tried to determine how rough Lexa had been with her because she still couldn't remember the actual mating, but she was sure it had happened. Lexa’s reaction was proof of that. To her surprise, nothing on her body seemed to be hurting. Maybe Lexa hadn't done too much damage to her body? Then again, it was was possible that it was there and the adrenaline rushing through her body because of the fear was just masking any pain. 

Regardless, Clarke wanted to get out of the Alpha's way before the girl decided to take revenge on her by beating her and hurting her even more. So, she opened her mouth to try and apologize, beg Lexa's forgiveness, promise to leave as soon as she found her clothes, beg her to let her find her clothes. But Lexa kept yelling and she immediately snapped her mouth shut. “No, don't speak. Leave. Now. Why are you still here!? Get out now! And leave before I decide to end your fight for this!” The Alpha concluded.

Clarke was beyond panicked. She couldn't see her clothes and the film of tears in her eyes wasn't helping her to find them as she frantically searched. But Lexa wanted her to leave immediately and she didn't want to anger Lexa anymore. And it wasn't just out of fear for her own physical safety. She'd probably already seriously put the alliance in danger and she couldn't risk her people again. But she was still in heat, even if it was satiated for now, so she really didn't want to have to run through the grounder camp back to her guest tent while naked. Her pheromones would call to every Alpha and she would surely get attacked. Lexa wouldn't want that, would she? She couldn't possibly be that angry, right?

Just then, Clarke heard the Alpha shift closer to her and she flinched slightly, afraid the girl would hit her or drag her out of the tent. But, she was surprised when the girl’s pheromones seemed to become slightly less threatening as the girl started to speak again in a much softer, less aggressive and angry tone, “Clarke, what-”

Clarke, taking the lessening of the commander's anger as her chance, cut her off and began to beg through her sobs, “Lexa, please. I'm sorry, please forgive me. I know you said don't speak, but- I'm sorry, I'll leave, I promise, I'll leave now and you'll never have to see me again if you don't want to. Just please let me find my clothes first. Please don't hurt me. I'll leave, just let me find my clothes. Don’t make me go out there like this, Lexa, please. I'll do anything.”

As the girl rambled, it was Lexa's turn to frantically try to understand what was going on. In a few seconds she managed to piece together what Clarke must have assumed was going on and cursed herself again. Why was it so impossible for her to do anything right for this woman?! Slowly, as the blonde Omega continuously begged and pleaded in an increasingly desperate manner, Lexa approached her.

Clarke sensed the movement and began to beg and plead even more desperately while bracing herself for the attack she was sure was coming. But, when the Alpha reached her nothing happened. She continued to beg softly as she waited for a few moments, still not daring to pull her eyes from the floor and look at the Alpha, still hoping the girl wouldn't hurt her. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Lexa's hand raise. She flinched hard and stopped talking, but the hand just paused for a second before continuing on its path to her face where it cupped her cheek lightly and rested there gently, calmly, almost comfortingly. Clarke couldn't help that her body's immediate reaction to the gesture was to relax, even if she was still beyond confused and scared.

Lexa stroked the girl's cheek gently for a few seconds, glad the pleading had finally stopped because every word the girl had said only served to rip another chunk of Lexa's heart out of her chest. Every implication that Clarke was afraid of her now crushed her, so she dedicated herself to calming that fear. She didn't want Clarke to leave like this, especially not naked, as the girl seemed to think she wanted. So, after the Omega's body seemed to instinctively relax, if only slightly, in response to her touch and the calming pheromones she was now trying to fill the tent with, she whispered to her, “It is okay, Clarke. I do not want you to leave. I will never hurt you. Never. You do not need to be afraid of me. I am not angry with you. There is no need to apologize, you have don't nothing wrong. Nothing. I am the one who should be apologizing.”

As Lexa spoke softly to her, Clarke began to relax again. She couldn't help but believe her. The pure dedication and emotion in her voice was undeniable. But, she was still confused and kind of afraid because Lexa had been so angry with her a moment ago and she was still feeling fairly disoriented, so she dared not look at her for fear of angering her again as the Alpha continued to speak to her.

Despite the fact that Clarke still wasn't looking at her, Lexa could feel the fear leaving her body and it encouraged her to keep going. “I'm sorry, Clarke. I'm sorry for almost taking advantage of you last night. I betrayed your trust again and that is unforgivable. And I'm sorry for scaring you this morning. I was not yelling at you. An Alpha - one of my warriors - had entered my tent and I let my instincts get the better of me. It was him I was threatening. I didn't think about what it would be like for you to wake up to that. I’m sorry for that. But know that I would never hurt you. And I would never ask you to leave safety in the middle of your heat, let alone naked. So, please, Clarke. You can relax. You are safe and welcome here as long as you desire to remain. You can stay forever if you wish, but I understand if my actions last night have ruined any chances I might have had of you wanting to stay.”

Clarke hesitantly let her eyes drift up from the floor to study Lexa's face. She looked so open, honest, and vulnerable it made her heart speed up. Lexa really seemed to mean what she was saying, which meant she might even mean what Clarke hoped she had meant when she said Clarke was welcome to stay forever. And the rest of her explanation seemed to make sense. Thinking back, there had been a hint of another Alpha’s smell under Lexa's when she woke up, but her mind hadn't really processed it at the time. She had been too scared. But, there was still one thing she was confused about. So, praying it wouldn't set Lexa off, she asked quietly, “What do you mean almost took advantage of me last night? I'm sorry. I don't really remember what happened. Are you saying we didn't mate?”

Lexa let out a long breath in shock. That's what Clarke thought? Quick to set the record straight, Lexa said, “No! I did not do that to you. I couldn't. I did make a mistake and kiss you for a while, taking advantage of you that way, and I did let you strip in front of me, but I could never mate you when I wasn't sure you really wanted me to. I- I love you, Clarke.”

Clarke slumped into her immediately as the last bits of fear fled from her body at Lexa's words. She really was safe. If Lexa truly did care for her - love her - enough to resist her in that moment, then, maybe, just maybe it would be okay. Quietly, Clarke whispered into Lexa's chest, “I love you too, Lexa. Thank you.” 

Lexa's heart soared at the words, but she made herself remember that Clarke was still in heat. Even if the suppressants were controlling many of the symptoms, it was possible, and honestly more than likely, that Clarke didn't mean them. That her emotions were so skewed that all of the confusing things that had happened in the last several hours had led Clarke to this false conclusion. So, she brushed off Clarke's declaration for the moment and sighed before asking gently, “Would you like me to retrieve your clothes?”

She felt Clarke nod into her chest, so she gently let go of the Omega and rushed to grab the small pile of clothing she had spotted in the main room of her tent. Returning quickly, she handed the clothes to Clarke who wasted no time in putting them back on. 

They stood there, awkwardly staring at each other for a few minutes before Lexa remembered something. “You should take your next dose of suppressants, Clarke.”

Unsure of how to reply, Clarke just nodded at her and watched as the Alpha disappeared for a moment again before returning with a bottle and cup. After drinking down the amount of the disgusting tasting liquid that Lexa directed, she handed the supplies back to Lexa and watched her as she raced out of the room to put them away before returning a last time. 

There was another pause in the conversation as both girls searched their minds for ways to end the silence.

“You should get some more rest,” Lexa said.

“We should probably talk,” Clarke said at the exact same time. 

They both let out a light laugh. “How about you rest for a while - that is if you wish to stay. I promise I will be here so that we may talk once you wake up,” Lexa compromised, hoping Clarke wouldn't leave.

Clarke agreed immediately, partially because she was still unwilling to go against the Alpha in case of angering her again, but mostly because she was actually very tired. Her body was still drained and she was emotionally exhausted from everything that had happened lately. She looked down at the bed next to her and then back up to Lexa in a silent question.

Understanding immediately, Lexa nodded and said, “Yes, you can rest there. I can leave if you wish?”

“No, I want- will you stay and hold me again?” Clarke asked hesitantly, but hopefully.

“Are you sure you want that, Clarke?” Lexa questioned cautiously.

“Yes,” Clarke replied immediately.

Lexa nodded in reply and carefully settled down onto the bed again. Clarke curled into her a second later. Lexa was so relieved that Clarke seemed to forgive her for last night’s mistake, at least for now, and she was so comfortable and happy with the Omega in her arms again, that she drifted off within seconds. Clarke was already asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Side note: if anyone ever wants to message me or something I do have a tumblr as well under the same username. Sometimes I feel it's difficult to reply to comments on here.


	4. Good Communication Saves Relationships

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa and Clarke finally have that long talk they've been needing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! So this chapter is a lot of long dialogue. I hope it's not too boring because of that.

The next time Lexa woke up, she was pleasantly surprised to find a calm, warm, deeply asleep Clarke still curled into her side. By the light in the tent it was now close to late afternoon and Lexa was momentarily shocked that no one, Indra especially, had bothered them since that morning. But, when remembering exactly what happened that morning she realized that maybe it wasn’t so strange. The guards had probably realized visitors aren’t welcome at the moment and kept people out. Plus, Lexa almost groaned when she realized word of her outburst had probably spread throughout camp at this point, which would most definitely act as a further deterrent. Sighing lightly, Lexa realized she would probably have a lot of damage control to deal with once this situation with Clarke was over. But, there was nothing she could do at the moment. She currently had issues much more pressing and personally important to her to deal with.

Lexa turned her head slightly so that she could look at the face of the blond Omega as she slept. She marveled at how peaceful and beautiful Clarke looked. There wasn’t any trace of the anxiety and fear that had spent so much time on her face in the last several hours. Not for the first time in the last day, Lexa wondered why Clarke had reacted so strongly to those situations. Even for an Omega in the middle of a fairly powerful heat, her emotions seemed to be extremely scattered and heightened. It was even effecting Lexa’s emotions and she didn’t like it. She vowed to herself that whoever or whatever had hurt Clarke so much that it continued to have such a strong effect on the young leader who had already seen so much pain in her life, would pay dearly if Clarke ever trusted her enough to reveal the source of her pain. 

But for that to happen, they would need to talk and Lexa still wasn’t entirely sure Clarke would be so loving and forgiving now that she was passed in initial stages of her heat, letting it stabilize into something much more manageable, and her body was rested and used to the new suppressants. Her mind would be as close to normal as it possibly could be during a heat and Lexa knew it was time for them to talk. So, she gently moved her free arm, the one not wrapped snuggly under and around Clarke’s shoulders, and stroked Clarke’s face, gently moving a lock of hair out of the way in the process, while she whispered, “Klark, you must wake. Wake up, my love.” Lexa didn’t notice it, but she was purring lightly at the same time.

After a moment, Clarke’s eyes fluttered open gently and immediately settled on Lexa, who gave her a slight smile in hopes of avoiding another panicked wake up turned freak out. But, not even a sliver of fear entered Clarke’s thoughts as she opened her eyes this time because she was immediately surrounded by everything comforting and loving that Lexa was offering her: soft words, gentle touches, protective embrace, and a comforting purr. Clarke felt nothing but relaxed and happy. So, she returned Lexa’s smile with an even bigger one of her own, let out a yawn, and asked, “What for?”

Lexa continued her small smile and gentle touches, encouraged by Clarke’s reaction, and said, “We must wake up. It is late in the day now and we have yet to have our talk, let alone eat, and you will need another dose of suppressants before long.”

Groaning slightly in protest, but still completely happy and offering no real complaints, Clarke nodded and huffed, “Fine, but can we eat first? I suddenly realize I’m starving.”

Lexa nodded seriously, whispering, “Sha, my love,” while she carefully extracted herself from Clarke and the bed so that she could hurry into the main part of her tent to grab food and the suppressants for later and bring them back to Clarke. Clarke grumbled slightly in protest again when she lost her comforting warmth, but she didn’t have to wait for Lexa for long because the Alpha was back in under a minute with a tray of fruits, cheeses, bread, water, and the bottle of heat suppressants carefully placed on top. 

Lexa settled back into bed with the tray and the two spent several minutes eating in a comfortable silence, even though they were both secretly fairly worried about how their impending conversation would go. Lexa was worried about Clarke’s reaction to her now that her head was mostly clear, even if the girl had acted normally toward her so far. Clarke was worried not only because more and more of her behavior for the past several hours were coming back to her and she was becoming very embarrassed, but also because Lexa will most likely want to know why she reacted so poorly and Clarke wasn’t sure if Lexa would maintain any desire to be with her once she learned about her past. 

But, the two could only eat to put off the conversation for so long. So, once they had both had their fill, Lexa carefully shifted the tray onto the floor near the bed within easy reach for later, and turned to face Clarke cautiously. Clarke was biting her lower lip nervously and Lexa had to restrain herself from leaning forward to kiss her and bite it for her. That wouldn’t be helpful in this situation. Instead, she reached out to gently take Clarke’s hand, only slightly afraid that the gesture would be rejected. Clarke eagerly interlaced her fingers with her as soon as she realized what the Alpha wanted. 

It was that positive response that got Lexa talking, “I would like to start this conversation by apologizing one more time for letting my instincts take over last night. That was wrong of me. I betrayed the promise I made you again and I understand if you are angry. I also apologize for this morning. I should have considered your response before I let my instincts take over again, but I did not and it upset you and I’m sorry.” Lexa dropped her eyes in shame. Her apologies were making her relive all of the wrongs she had done to Clarke and she found it unbearable to look into her eyes and watch as the happiness that had been there since they woke up disappear into hurt and anger.

Clarke let Lexa make her full apology, knowing that the Alpha wouldn’t be happy until she’d said everything that she wanted to say, before she responded with a simple, “I’m not angry.”

Lexa’s eyes immediately shot back up to Clarke’s to read the sincerity of her words there. There was no way she was lucky enough to be forgiven so easily, but when she looked into Clarke’s, eyes she could tell the girl spoke true and she was both elated and confused at the same time. Maybe there was a chance for them to form a relationship after all. 

Clarke read the confusion in Lexa’s face and elaborated, “I’m not angry, Lexa. I understand what happened. Really, I do. Don’t forget where I come from.” Clarke laughed a bit to try to lighten the mood, but the way Lexa’s face hardened when she mentioned the beliefs of the Ark people made her rush on. “No really, just think about what I grew up with. And you actually stopped yourself. You respected me. I never expected such amazing treatment from an Alpha in my life, so thank you. And I’m not mad. I wanted you. I still want you. But I tried to make you want me back last night and even though you lost control for a second, you respected me enough to know that it wasn’t the proper time for that particular activity and even held yourself back. How could I be mad at that? As for this morning, it was my misunderstanding. I assumed too much. You don’t have any need to apologize for that.”

Lexa listened to every word she said intently. At first she didn’t want to believe it, but the sincerity in Clarke’s face and voice couldn’t be mistaken, so for a moment she just marveled at her good luck and tried to formulate a response and thank Clarke for her understanding, but Clarke beat her to it when she kept talking after a brief pause. 

“Really, I should be the one apologizing,” Clarke said. Lexa immediately bristled. Clarke had no reason to be ashamed, heats happen, they are a normal part of life that cannot be controlled and should not be blamed, no matter what Clarke’s people thought. But, before Lexa could voice any of her objections, Clarke continued. “I’m sorry, Lexa. I should have known you would never hurt me and I reacted horribly several times.” Clarke dropped her head in shame and Lexa couldn’t hold back a small growl. Clarke’s only response was to turn her head away from Lexa slightly, further hiding her eyes. She did not let go of her hand, though, which Lexa took as a good sign.

Lexa still berated herself for growling as she gently reached out to cup the Omega’s face and tilt her eyes back up to face her. She was relieved to see that there was no sign of tears, just embarrassment and shame. Choosing her words carefully, she said, “Clarke, you have no reason to apologize either. Your culture and your heat led you to believe that you were in a very dangerous situation and you reacted accordingly. That is nothing to be ashamed of. I am only sad that your life has taught you to fear heat and Alphas so strongly.”

This time it was Clarke’s turn to search Lexa’s eyes for sincerity. When she found it, it gave her the courage to reply cautiously, “Except you. You are the only Alpha I never fear. Even last night, I was afraid of what I expected you to do based on what I’d been taught. You’ve never given me any reason to fear you.”

Lexa’s chest puffed out in pride at the admission and she said, “That is all I have ever wanted Clarke. I wish to be the one to provide you comfort and safety. I meant what I said, Clarke. I love you and I wish to pursue this if you feel the same. But only if you feel the same. I will respect any decision you make on the matter.”

“I do,” Clarke hurried to assure her. “I love you too, Lexa and I want to be with you. I just thought you didn’t want me anymore. After the mountain you acted so cold toward me…” Clarke trailed off.

“I was giving you space,” Lexa replied. “When I tried to initiate courting you, you told me you needed time. So I tried to give it to you and when you didn’t seem to be attempting to get any closer, even when I could sense how strongly you reacted to me, I assumed you had made up your mind that you did not want a relationship with me and so I was giving you space. Respecting that decision.”

Even though she had blushed slightly when Lexa basically said she had been smelling her arousal, Clarke laughed. “Look at us. We really need to start communicating more and assuming less or one of these days we’ll assume something that we can’t fix.”

Lexa smiled slightly in response before asking, “Then is it safe to assume you are willing to start pursuing a relationship with me?”

Clarke’s laughter died out and she replied, “Yes, Lexa. I would like that very much.”

The Alpha inside of Lexa roared out its victory, but Lexa managed to keep her joy mostly suppressed. There was still a good amount of things that needed to be discussed. “In that case are there any rituals or customs that need to be addressed for your people?” Lexa asked.

Clarke frowned in thought. “No?” she replied. “Just the marriage when we have or are officially ready to mate.”

Lexa nodded. “We have the marriage here as well. There are some other customs my people will expect me to perform as we court, but most of those can be discussed later. The only one important now is that I need to declare my intentions of courting you to both of our peoples and then fight off any who wish to challenge me about it.”

Clarke frowned in alarm this time as she asked hurriedly, “Fight off? Like to the death or what? And what challengers? There is no one else interested in mating me. And if there are, no one is stupid enough to fight you for it.”

Lexa stroked Clarke’s face and knuckles gently to calm her. “No, my love. The old ways used to be to the death, but now we just fight to disable and defeat. The challengers do not have to be other potential mates. Parents, superiors, and friends can also challenge if they object to the mating. Your mother, for example, I could see her challenging me.”

“Oh,” Clarke said. “That could happen. I will have to talk with her. Is there anything else I need to know now?” 

Lexa shook her head. “No, all other customs are fairly simple and can be discussed after the challenging. I was wondering if I could ask you a question though? It is one you may not want to answer and you do not have to if you do not wish. I understand if I need to prove myself to you more,” Lexa said surprisingly hesitantly. 

Clarke tensed slightly. She was pretty sure she knew what Lexa wanted to ask, she had been expecting it, but that doesn’t mean she was any more ready to answer it. She knew she needed to though. It was only fair that Lexa knows before committing herself. She could very easily change her mind after hearing the story. So, she said, “Oh course, Lexa. You can ask me anything,” and hoped for the best. 

Lexa took a steadying breath, tightened the grip she had on her Omega’s hand slightly, and prayed she was doing the right thing by asking. “I was wondering if you would be willing to tell me why you reacted so strongly to finding out you were in heat in the presence of an Alpha? It seemed to run deeper than just your culture’s beliefs.”

Clarke closed her eyes momentarily, bracing herself for this conversation before she opened them and said, “Yes, something happened to me when I was young.”

Lexa nodded, she had assumed as much. “You do not have to tell me if you do not wish,” Lexa reiterated, having seen Clarke’s reactions.

Clarke nodded slightly, “I know, but I think you need to hear it, Lexa.”

When Lexa merely nodded in reply, Clarke kept talking slowly, “I started getting heats at a very young age, you see, at 12. And, as I’m sure you’ve noticed, Omega’s are not very highly regarded in my people, so my parents used my mom’s access to medicine to hide what I was from everyone, even myself. For two years, every time I started showing the slightest symptoms of heat they would pump me full of stolen drugs and make it go away. I had no idea. No one else in my class had matured yet, so I didn’t think it was weird I didn’t know what I was yet either.”

Lexa nodded along. That was a very young age to mature, most did not do so until they were at least 15 years and although her parents’ treatment of the situation angered her to no end, Lexa kept silent and maintained a firm, supportive pressure on Clarke’s hand and she listened to the story that was obviously difficult for the girl to tell.

Clarke appreciated the support and kept talking, but she kept her eyes trained on the furs in front of her instead of on Lexa’s just in case. “It was about two years later, like I said, and there was something wrong with one of the air filters. Come to think of it that may have been the start of the problems, but that doesn’t matter now. Anyway, dad was spending night and day down there trying to fix it and there was also some mutated cold virus going around that my mom was trying to deal with, so she was locked down there for several days and I was home alone. That’s when my heat started. I didn’t know what it was, of course, but I remember feeling kind of hot and funny for a day or so and being very confused.”

Lexa kept nodding encouragingly while bracing herself for what was coming.

“School was canceled because of the cold virus,” Clarke continued. “So, I was just kind of sitting at home, confused, when one day one of my parents’ friends stopped by to see my dad. He was their age, an Alpha I’d known my whole life. He and his wife used to babysit me. He was family. But, the second I opened the door and he got a good smell of me, well, he got this strange look in his eyes and grabbed me, pushing me back int-into the room. I-“ 

Clarke broke off on a sob. Tears were streaming down the Omega’s face now and Lexa was quick to wrap and arm around her shoulders and pull her into Lexa’s chest as the girl kept talking. It was almost as if she couldn’t stop now that she’d started.

“I was so confused. He kept muttering that I was so stupid and he couldn’t believe what I was making him do as he- as he- as he forced himself on me, inside me, all the while hitting me and cussing at me, telling me it was my fault. I was so confused, Lexa.” 

Clarke sobbed harder for several minutes while Lexa held her to her chest and rocked her back and forth, muttering sweet words of comfort and support. Lexa’s heart had shattered and she had let a few tears fall herself, but her sadness was quickly replaced by anger as Clarke kept talking after another minute.

“I-he- he even knotted me, Lexa. And I passed out not long after that, so I don’t know what exactly he did. But I woke up in very bad shape and I was alone on the floor. Soon, my parents both came running in. Appar-“ Clarke sobbed again and cleared her throat. “Apparently, he had left and immediately started telling everyone that I was a spoiled little Omega who had seduced her parents’ friend because she was feeling neglected. The whole Ark turned on me after that for a year. Even my mo- even my mom shunned me. She’s the Alpha, you know, so she was inclined to believe her friend. But, my dad listened to me. He understood. That’s why we were always so close afterwards. Until she killed him.” When Clarke finished her head was completely tucked between Lexa’s neck and shoulder and she was sobbing harder than ever.

Lexa held her as she sobbed, rubbing circles on her back and doing everything she knew to try and comfort and calm the hurt Clarke was reliving. The hurt she had made her relive. But, at the same time, she couldn’t stop the seething anger building up inside of her toward everyone involved in that story, except for Clarke, of course. And, there was one more thing she needed to know. So, once the sobs had died down somewhat, she asked quietly, “This Alpha, where is he?”

Clarke fisted her hand in Lexa’s shirt to hold her there just in case the Alpha tried to go on a rampage like the tone of her voice implied as she said, “He’s dead. Don’t worry, he’s dead. A year after it happened he got caught prowling around the Omega heat hallway trying to catch an Omega before they could safely lock themselves safely inside one of the rooms designated for Omegas to ride out their heat away from others. It was discovered that he did that often and was floated for it. That’s when people stopped shunning me for what happened, but I know they still blame me.”

Lexa growled softly at that, but maintained her comforting embrace with Clarke as she said, “Good. He deserves death. I only wish I could have been the one to give it to him painfully, but at least he is dead.”

Clarke nodded into Lexa’s shirt and just let her hold her for a while. She was really glad Lexa didn’t seem repulsed by her now, but she still needed to know if this changed things. So, after several minutes of soft touches and gentle rocking in silence, Clarke dared to start asking, “Lexa?”

The Alpha hummed in response to show that she was listening, but she was also thoroughly engrossed with the task of holding Clarke and absorbing any pain the girl had ever felt.

“I- Do you still want to pursue a relationship with me after this?” Clarke asked after deciding that direct, blunt questioning would be the most effective.

Lexa stiffened and then looked down in Clarke’s eyes in shock. “Of course!” she assured her. “Why would I not?”

“It’s just, I’m not a pure Omega,” Clarke reasoned.

“I never thought you were pure. I knew you had sex with Finn,” Lexa replied.

“Yes, but-“ Clarke started, “But that’s different. He never knotted me. I know knotting is different. My mom told me Alphas don’t like being the second to knot someone. I’d understand if you didn’t want me now.”

“Of course I want you, Clarke. I do not care if you have been knotted before. I have knotted others before and you do not care. I care that you did not want it and that it hurt you. It hurts me to know that. But I love you, Clarke. Nothing will change that,” Lexa said.

Clarke sighed happily and relaxed into Lexa completely again. “Thank you, Lexa. I love you too.”

Lexa started to purr again in response and Clarke was just thinking she could fall back asleep like this, when suddenly she heard sounds of fighting coming from the front of the tent and the body beneath her tensed, ready to protect her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do have a tumblr under the same user name if anyone ever wants to talk about the story or whatever. It can be difficult to talk on here.


	5. Off to a Good Start

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa and Clarke prepare to deal with the world outside of the tent walls again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all! This is a slightly shorter chapter because the conversations that need to happen after this are going to be long and complicated and I didn't have time to finish it all up tonight. But I did want to produce something, so here you go. I hope you like it. As always, I am more than happy to read any comments you have.

As the muffled sounds of punches being thrown and deflected at the front of the tent continued, Clarke tensed as she expected Lexa to jump out of bed growling, snarling, and yelling protectively like she had that morning. She wasn’t sure if she was ready to have Lexa’s comfort and strength ripped from her just yet, not after such an emotionally intense conversation. Plus she could tell that she would soon be in need of another dose of suppressants because her emotions were beginning to feel slightly, uncontrollably explosive just under the surface of her skin, like carbonated water, so losing the close protection and calming force of the Alpha might hurt her more than she was prepared for at the moment. But, she tensed her muscles and steadied herself as best she could while she surrendered herself to the inevitability of Lexa’s actions.

As soon as Lexa heard the sound coming from outside, her protective instincts flared into overdrive again as she prepared herself to leap from the bed and defend her mate. However, the instincts for the comforting and care of a mate in pain, that Clarke’s confession and emotional distress had caused moments ago, were still running rampant in Lexa’s system, making her hyper aware of Clarke’s every move and breath. 

So, when Clarke tensed, held her breath slightly, and leaned a bit away from where she had been resting pressed up against Lexa’s chest, Lexa knew that Clarke expected her to leave her, but didn’t want her to go. She could also tell that Clarke wasn’t going to say anything about her reluctance, most likely in fear of being a burden on her, which was a fear Lexa still wished she could quell in Clarke as soon as possible. To do so, she knew that she needed to remain with Clarke and make sure she was okay instead of leaving the bed. She needed Clarke to know that being there for her would always be most important, even if that meant letting her guards defend her territory for her sometimes, no matter how much her inner Alpha hated not defending it herself. 

Tightening her arms around the blond to pull her closer again as she listened to the dying sounds of a scuffle not far away, she only let herself produce a low warning growl to satisfy some of her territorial instincts. Clarke immediately relaxed into the renewed embrace and basked in the protective growl. This was exactly what she needed right now, to feel loved, cared about, protected, all at the same time. She couldn’t hold back a low purr in response to how amazing this Alpha was being to her. Encouraged by her response, Lexa began to whisper comforting, encouraging words of love into Clarke’s ear as they waited for her guards to take care of whatever problem was at her tent entrance. 

A minute or two later, the sounds dissipated as whoever was causing problems was restrained and forced to give up their fight, most likely not permanently, but that depended on who it was. Sighing in relief, Clarke raised her head and smiled at Lexa in thanks for staying with her just as footsteps could be heard entering the main room of the tent. Clarke’s smile turned worried again and she looked into Lexa’s eyes for reassurance. The Alpha gave her a small smile to tell her that she was safe. She knew those footsteps and the faint Beta smell that came with them as well as she knew her own. It was just Indra. 

Clarke, however, was still in the dark and slightly afraid of who was in the tent and those feelings were enhanced by the bubbling emotions that were starting to fizz within her, until Lexa leaned forward and gave her a small, comforting kiss of reassurance on her forehead before calling out, “Indra. Stop there and speak your purpose.” There was no way Lexa was leaving Clarke or letting anyone see her until she was absolutely certain the Omega was alright. Clarke relaxed again upon learning who it was and just waited with Lexa for Indra’s response.

The footsteps halted and Indra’s voice called out, “Heda. I apologize for disturbing you and the Sky Girl, but there is a problem that demands your attention.”

“What problem?” Lexa snapped back, frustrated at the idea of anything taking her away from her Omega. 

“The Sky Chancellor is here and demands to speak with you both immediately,” Indra replied promptly. “She will not take no for an answer. She tried to fight her way in. The guards have restrained her but she still refuses to leave.”

Clarke’s head snapped up at the mention of her mother. Without thinking, she called out, “Is she hurt?”

At the exact same time, Lexa called out in a frustrated growl, “What does she wish to discuss?”

Clarke cringed slightly when she realized she’d spoken over a clearly irritated Alpha, but she didn’t apologize as she waited for her answer. Indra was prompt to reply once again, clearly detecting the dangerous situation she was in, “I believe it involves your situation with the Sky Girl, Heda” And then she added, almost as an afterthought, “She is unharmed apart from a few scrapes and bruises.”

Both girls nodded slightly to themselves from their positions on the bed before turning to look at each other. “Wait for a moment,” Lexa called out to Indra. Then, without waiting to hear confirmation that Indra had followed orders, she asked Clarke in an undertone, “Are you alright? Do you wish to speak with her?”

Clarke bit her lip and let out a heavy sigh. “I think I need another dose of suppressants, but yes, I’m fine for now. We should speak with her or she’ll do something stupid to get her way.”

Lexa nodded once before slowly extracting herself from underneath Clarke, who let out a soft groan of loss, which Lexa tried her best to calm by placing a soft hand on Clarke’s side as she moved. Kneeling down, Lexa used the hand not gently stroking Clarke’s side to grab the bottle of suppressants from where she had left it on the floor earlier. Carefully, she poured the proper amount and held it out to Clarke.

Clarke accepted the cup gratefully, but grimaced again when she swallowed the strange tasting liquid. Lexa’s hand found its way to Clarke’s face to smooth away the traces of discomfort, caressing her cheek and forehead with the gentlest of touches. Clarke closed her eyes and leaned into the hands on her body and face. Sighing, she whispered, “I wish we could just stay here, like this.”

Clarke felt it as the muscles in Lexa’s hands and arms tightened slightly before the Alpha whispered back, “Ask it and it shall happen. I can have your mother locked away until you are ready.”

Sighing again, Clarke opened her eyes and said, “Thank you, Lexa, but we should see what she wants. She is still the Chancellor of my people. I don’t want to risk the alliance. And I’m sure you have other responsibilities to tend to. I know you’re too busy to just lock yourself away with me.” Clarke clenched her jaw when she realized that Lexa might use this as an opportunity to send Clarke back to her people in order to remove the temptation and distraction that Clarke’s heat obviously caused. 

“I could still make it happen, no matter what,” Lexa whispered to her while leaning closer to the blond in an attempt to relax the sudden stress in the girl’s face. 

Clarke’s breath hitched slightly as the Alpha’s face came within a few inches of her own. They hadn’t kissed since the night before, which in all honestly Clarke didn’t really remember, but the little she did remember in combination with the memories of the first kiss they had shared so long ago made the urge to close the distance and take Lexa’s lips with her own almost completely overwhelming. But, she managed to hold back and give her a smile instead as she breathed out, “I have no doubt about that, Lexa, but we have responsibilities. I’ll be fine doing this as long as I get to come back here with you… after….”

Clarke’s last sentence sounded a bit questioning and uncertain to Lexa and she suddenly realized that the Omega might be afraid that Lexa was going to make her go home with Abby once this talk was done. Thinking quickly before acting, Lexa wanted to make sure she did and said the exact right thing to rid Clarke of this needless worry. Looking Clarke in the eyes, she whispered, “I will be counting the seconds until our return,” as she slowly leaned forward to capture Clarke’s lips in a kiss just as slow and loving as their first kiss had been all that time ago. 

Clarke responded quickly to the kiss, moving her lips in a counterpoint to Lexa’s, sucking on her bottom lip for a moment, and leaning forward in an attempt to get closer to the Alpha. The feel of it, the emotion, the tender care, it was all just as amazing as Clarke remembered it being and she wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of her life kissing Lexa like this. But, when she reached both of her hands up to cradle Lexa’s face and deepen the kiss, Lexa pulled back just enough to stop the kiss before she tilted her head forward to rest against Clarke’s.

The Commander was slightly breathless as she said, “We should get going, Clarke. Indra is in the other room waiting for us. But we can come back here later. I promise.”

Humming in agreement, even if it was reluctant agreement, Clarke nodded her head slightly and pulled back, relieved she would in fact be allowed to stay with her Alpha later. Taking courage from that knowledge, she pulled her hands from Lexa’s face slowly, as if memorizing every second of her fingers on Lexa’s skin, before she placed her hands on her knees and made to stand up.

Lexa stood the moment Clarke’s hands were no longer on her so that she could offer Clarke a hand up when the girl was ready. A moment later they were both standing, chest to chest, staring into each other’s eyes and wishing beyond anything that they could curl back up in bed and ignore the world around them once more. After a few more seconds, they both sighed and made their way toward the main room of the tent.

Indra was standing in the middle of the room with her head held high. Once the two emerged, she only allowed herself a moment to let her eyes scan their appearances before she turned to the side, allowing the two young leaders to see the front entrance of the tent. Once she did, Clarke noticed a figure kneeling between two larger figures just at the threshold to the tent, barely inside the flaps. Gasping at her mother’s appearance, Clarke took a few rushed steps forward to stop by Indra, followed quickly by a very tense Lexa. 

At the sound of Clarke’s gasp, Abby’s head shot up from the forced position of submission the guards had made her hold when they originally hauled her to the tent flaps. Clarke watched as her mother scanned her appearance, nodding slightly once she realized she seemed relatively unharmed, before she shifted her gaze to Lexa. Once she caught sight of Lexa, however, Clarke watched as the indignant anger flared in her mother’s face. She immediately began fighting the guards holding her again as she snarled at Lexa, “So the rumors are true. You bred my daughter. Lured her to your tent and forced her to mate with you. I’ll kill you for this. Is this what all your people want mine for?”

“No! Mom, she didn’t!” Clarke tried to yell, flustered and confused. Abby didn’t listen. She was too caught up in her anger and distrust of the grounders to listen to her Omega daughter about something so important. Instead, she continued on her rant of threats and false accusations.

Wide eyed, Clarke turned to Lexa, who looked just as confused as Clarke was, only Lexa was also clearly very insulted and angry as well. Lexa took as step forward to threaten Abby and demand to know what made her think such terrible things when Clarke was clearly just as happy and healthy as she was the last time her mother had seen her, if not more so. She was about to take another when the action failed to make the weaker Alpha submit, when she suddenly felt a cooler breeze on the middle of her chest and stomach than she was used to. 

Glancing down, she realized what had caused Abby’s assumption. She was still wearing the jacket she had thrown on early that morning when she threatened that other warrior. There was nothing underneath and she hadn’t bothered to button it when it was just Clarke, but then she’d forgotten about it and now the sides were hanging open and barely covering her beasts and sides, leaving the rest of her chest and stomach bare to all. Even she had to admit that the situation looked bad. It would certainly be difficult to convince Abby she had not at least had sex with Clarke.

She turned to Clarke and discretely gestured to her own torso to clue Clarke in on her revelation. Clarke’s eyes had been trained on Lexa the whole time, so when the girl turned back to her she immediately noticed the gesture and, after a moment, realized exactly what Lexa had. She cursed herself because hadn’t noticed Lexa’s attire either. Although, she realized, she really should have because Lexa looked damn sexy with her abs exposed and the sides of her breasts peeking out. After a second of staring, Clarke had to forcefully turn her head away from the sight before her because she could already feel herself getting aroused and that would be no help in this situation. Lexa’s chest puffed out a bit once she realized what had happened and she made a mental note to try this outfit again in the future if she ever did get the chance to bed Clarke in the way she craved so dearly. 

Once Clarke had turned her head back to her mother, who had luckily stopped threatening the Commander and devolved into simply growling and snarling at her as she fought the men restraining her, Clarke was able to think more clearly and decide what to do. Sighing, she walked closer to her mother, got directly in front of her eyesight, positioning herself between her and Lexa, so that Abby would have no choice but to look at her, and yelled directly in her face, “Calm down, mom! She didn’t mate me! Give it a rest!”

Blinking, Abby stopped growling as she shifted her attention to Clarke for the first time since her initial glance at her. She was still very hostile when she asked sharply, “What?”

“She didn’t mate me, mom,” Clarke said, lowering her voice now that her mom was finally listening. “I promise nothing happened last night. If you’ll just calm down we can talk about this.”

Abby ground her teeth for a few seconds before she tilted her head to look at Lexa over Clarke’s shoulder. Clarke glanced back too and was relieved, and disappointed for a reason completely unrelated to this situation, to see that Lexa had buttoned her coat up to create a much more respectable and less incriminating appearance. Letting out a short burst of air, Abby said, “Fine. But they have to let me up and leave.” As she gestured to the guards and Indra with her head.

“Very well,” Lexa said after Clarke had turned again to make eye contact over her shoulder and nod her assent to the agreement. “Leave us,” the Alpha commanded to the others in the room. The guards released Abby immediately and left without hesitation. Indra only dared to remain long enough to receive a nod from Lexa before she left as well. Then, it was just the three of them standing in the middle of the Commander’s tent, Clarke in the middle and Abby and Lexa glaring at each other intensely from across the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do have a tumblr under the same user name if anyone ever wants to talk about the story or whatever. It can be difficult to talk on here.


	6. Its a Long Way Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa have it out with Abby. Things are realized and decided.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all! I hope everyone had happy holidays, or a good week if you don't celebrate anything. This chapter was very difficult for me to write and I'm still not sure it works, but I think it's the best I'm going to get today and it gets me to where the story needs to be, so here you go. It is pretty long though, so there's that. As always, I hope you like it and am ever eager to hear any and all comments you have. If I don't post again before Thursday, have a happy new years!

No one spoke for several minutes after they were left alone. Abby seemed to be seething from the position she had taken up a few feet inside of the tent. Lexa seemed to be internally panicking about what to say to assure her Omega’s mother that she has never and will never harm her daughter. That she will be a worthy future mate. And Clarke merely stood between them, occasionally looking back and forth between the two to read their faces, and getting angrier and angrier at her mother when she realized exactly why she had come to confront Lexa. 

However, before she could call her mother out on her actions, Lexa said, “I assure you, Abby, I did not harm your daughter in any way. Nor did I take advantage of her. I would never do that,” with such an earnest expression on her face that Clarke felt her heart melt a bit.

Abby was unaffected and when her only response to Lexa’s statement was to let out a huff of air and shake her head slightly before she started to open her mouth, probably to yell again, Clarke lost it. Clearly any real care her mother had held for Clarke in the past was gone, probably had been gone since the day Clarke showed the first signs of being an Omega, and the realization hurt more than Clarke ever thought possible. So, she snapped before her mother even got the chance to speak. “That’s not why she’s upset, Lexa. Is it, mom?”

The question was clearly rhetorical as Clarke started to advance into her mother’s personal space, ignoring the rush of dominant Alpha pheromones that her mother started trying to silence her with, and continued to speak. “No, Lexa, that’s not why she’s here at all. She wouldn’t have given a damn about ME if you’d held me down, fucked and knotted me through my heat last night. No, she’d have only cared if you had left marks that proved it was forced, then she could have claimed you’d planned and forced it and turned my people against yours.” 

Clarke turned her head slightly from her position directly in her mother’s face to see Lexa’s pained and disbelieving expression as she said the next sentence, “Remember, Lexa, my people only care about Alpha’s forcing themselves on Omegas in heat when the Alpha seeks them out or traps them when the Omega would otherwise be able to keep themselves out of the way.” Clarke turned her attention back to her mother’s cold, angry glare. “So if you had left marks, my mother would have been able to hold me up in front of our people as an example to show that you had betrayed me again. To show that our people aren’t safe with yours. To discredit me and take back full control of our peop-“

“Be quiet, Clarke!” Abby suddenly snapped. “You don’t know what you’re talking about! That’s not true. I-“

Lexa growled, “You will not speak to her that way!” and advanced on Abby as well in an attempt to protect and defend her mate. 

At the exact same time Clarke let out a low growl of her own and snapped, “Shut up, mom, you aren’t in charge here and you never will be.” Lexa froze in her tracks at the sound of her Omega’s growl. It was like nothing she’d ever heard before and it sent chills down her spine and a strong wave of heat to her crotch at the same time. While she mentally reminded herself to try and get Clarke to growl for her in a much more private situation, she also made a note to try and never make Clarke seriously growl at her because she had never seen something so intimidating as her Omega this angry. She’d experienced small doses of that anger before and after the mountain that she had thought at the time were already very intimidating for an Omega, but she’s just now realizing that was nothing compared to the fury Clarke could direct toward someone. It also reminded her that while Clarke may be very clingy and reliant on her while they are alone and she was in heat without suppressants, Clarke is in no way a typical Omega. Lexa suddenly felt even more proud to be allowed a chance to claim Clarke and have Clarke claim her in return. 

Abby also froze and silenced at their dual outbursts, although it was unclear which of the young woman’s threats had silenced her or if it had been a combination of the two.

Clarke continued as if she hadn’t been interrupted. “Because that’s the problem, isn’t it, mom? It’s not just that you don’t like that you’re not in charge, you don’t like that I am. Your pitiful, worthless Omega daughter is in control and making all of the decisions for you and you hate it.”

Lexa growled softly behind her in response to Clarke’s statement about her self-worth, but Clarke ignored her and kept speaking. She was spurred on by the shocked, slightly pained look in her mother’s eyes. “You’ve been trying to regain control of our people since the beginning and it infuriated you that even after the grounders I formed an alliance with left us to die at the mountain, I was still in charge and our people trusted me enough over you to be willing to form an alliance with them again. So, when you heard the rumors that I had gone into heat not long after being summoned to Lexa’s tent for official discussions and then stayed the night and most of the day with Lexa in her tent, you panicked because you realized that if I were to be mated and claimed by the grounders’ strong, Alpha Commander, you’d never regain the power you’ve been craving since the Ark. You thought that if Lexa mated me it would solidify m-“

“She’d control you, Clarke,” Abby cut in frantically. “If you two mated she’d use her control of you to take over everything, steal our weapons and technology, and probably even take our people for labor and our Omegas for breeding. You’re just an Omega. Just a child as well. You don’t understand, Clarke. All Alphas want is dominance and power. It’s always about gaining more dominance and power. You know what it’s like,” Abby pleaded with her. “You remember what it’s like. They’ll say anything to get you to trust them so that they can get what they want and then they turn on you. I don’t care what this Alpha promises you, she’s still an Alpha, and a strong one at that. Her thirst for power will be stronger as well and she’ll be better, more practiced, at controlling weaker Alphas, Betas, and especially Omegas. She’s probably been using her pheromones to influence you all day. Manipulating you.”

Lexa was growling viciously now, but having received no sign from Clarke, she remained otherwise silent and still behind the Omega. Clarke was too confused, shocked, and overwhelmed to do much of anything other than listen to her mother’s twisted words. She’d spent her whole life trusting whatever her mother said about the world and the things she was saying now were kind of starting to make sense. While she didn’t agree with what Abby assumed Lexa would do once she gained control, it would make sense that Lexa would expect her to surrender and submit all power to her once they mated. She hadn’t become commander of the twelve clans by making alliances and then ruling side by side. She dominated and controlled. 

Abby seemed to sense Clarke’s thoughts because she kept speaking. “I do care if she hurts you, Clarke. I don’t want to see you hurt or controlled by anyone. That’s why I came,” Abby tried to continue, but suddenly Clarke snapped to attention and stopped taking in everything her mother was saying.

Incredulous, Clarke shouted, “You don’t want me to be controlled by anyone!? You mean anyone except you, of course, right!?”

“I’m your mother. I know what’s best for you. I can keep you safe,” Abby replied quickly.

“Since when!?” Clarke shouted back. “Since when have you ever done anything just to keep ME safe and not use me in some way?” Clarke demanded. Closing her eyes in frustration, she spun around to face Lexa. 

Once Lexa saw the look on Clarke’s face she started growling at Abby again and took several small, quick steps forward to wrap her arms around Clarke’s shoulders and pull Clarke into her chest. The overwhelming comfort Clarke was engulfed with as soon as Lexa touched her again steadied and calmed her immediately. She let Lexa hold her for only a moment before she put a steady hand on Lexa’s stomach and gently pushed her back, reveling in the feeling of Lexa’s body vibrating with the intensity of her growl as she did so. 

Abby was speechless as she watched the interaction with awe. She was amazed at the intensity of the Commander’s instincts to protect and comfort her mate. Those instincts even seemed to outweigh the instincts to defend her territory against a strong, intruding Alpha, which Abby was sure were running rampant in the Commander in response to all of the pheromones Abby had been pumping in her tent and in the face of the Omega she clearly wanted. She’d never seen or felt anything like it. Her feelings for Jake were never this strong. Sure she had loved her Omega mate, but that seemed to be nothing in comparison to the overwhelming devotion she seemed to see radiating off of this Alpha. She was still staring uncomprehendingly at the two girls when Clarke turned back around to face her.

“You’re wrong, mom. I love Lexa and she loves me. She’s not going to hurt me or control me into giving up our people. We are going to mate and then whatever happens after that she and I will figure out together,” Clarke said, encouraged by the supportive and reassuring hand Lexa had paced gently on the small of her back. “I’m not a child anymore, mom. I haven’t been a child since you killed my father and locked me up as a traitor. And I may be an Omega, but I am anything but weak. I wish you had been able to see that.”

Although seeing their love had shaken Abby, she was still outraged that Clarke wasn’t submitting to her control and allowing her to take back leadership of their people. The months and months’ worth of frustration that had been piling up in her chest lashed out as she yelled, “You’re just an Omega, of course you’re weak! I don’t know how you possibly could have managed to keep this Alpha off of you for so long, except that maybe she’s already neutered and unable to perform, in which case I can see why she would have tolerated an Omega parading around as a leader, but I won’t stand by it! If she’d so weak that she can’t even mount my pathetic excuse of a daughter and give me a reason to rally our people against her, I don’t need that much support to fight her!”

Lexa had made sure to be patient and controlled throughout the conversation so far. Clarke could take care of herself, this was her mother, and she respected her Omega enough to allow her to handle the situation on her own. Plus, she wasn’t officially her Omega yet, so Lexa didn’t feel she had the right to interfere much. She was still slightly worried that pulling Clarke to her in her show of comfort and support had overstepped. But, when Abby insulted her strength as an Alpha not only in relation to her ability to lead, but in her virility as well, she gave Lexa every right to enter the conversation. Add that to the insults she continued to shower Clarke with in addition to everything Lexa had learned about Abby’s treatment of Clarke in the past, and Lexa lost it. 

Before either of the other women could react, Lexa had maneuvered herself around Clarke, grabbed Abby by the throat, and pinned her up against one of the tent supports behind her, while roaring her anger the whole time. The only thing that stopped her from ripping Abby’s throat out and leaving her in the woods to rot was Clarke’s quick shout to wait. So Lexa froze, but her grip never faltered on the older Alpha’s throat and she ignored Abby’s labored breathing and weak attempts to claw her hand away. 

Clarke was behind Lexa in a second, “You can’t kill her! That really would cause my people to revolt,” Clarke told Lexa quickly.

Lexa’s whole body was tense. She growled lowly, her gaze never wavering from Abby’s. “I don’t doubt that you would be able to talk them down again, Klark.”

Clarke noticed Lexa’s pronunciation slipping more toward her native tongue and she realized just how angry the Alpha had become. She reached out her hand and placed it on the shoulder of the arm holding her mother to the poll as she said quietly, “Plus, she’s still my mom, Lex.”

Those words dampened a good portion of Lexa’s fury. This woman was still her Omega’s mother and although she was a terrible Alpha who has caused Clarke immeasurable amounts of pain over the years, and would most likely continue to do so if left to live, it would probably cause her Omega even more pain to see her dead. Especially at the hands of her Alpha. A slight shiver raced down her spine at the thought of potentially facing Clarke’s hurt and anger again, as she had after the mountain. She had no desire to ever put her future with Clarke in jeopardy again. Still furious, however, she could only manage a shallow nod for Clarke as she murmured, “Very well, I promise I will not kill her for now.”

Clarke sighed and leaned her forehead against Lexa’s shoulder blade as she murmured a quiet and relieved, “Thank you,” into the Commander’s back. 

Taking that as permission to continue, Lexa snarled at Abby again, only lessening her hold slightly when it looked like the woman might black out. She needed to be awake for this. As soon as Lexa was sure the Alpha had gotten enough air into her lungs to be attentive she stated speaking in a low, threatening growl of a voice that left no room for argument. Clarke was still resting against her back and Lexa had a sinking suspicion that this conversation had taken its toll on the Omega who had already had a very emotional day and was still in the throes of heat, despite it being suppressed. She wanted to get this over with so that she could have a quick chat with Indra to give her instructions for what should happen over the next few days and then close herself away with Clarke in her bed again. 

“Omegas are not weak,” Lexa started. “They are just as strong and capable as any Alpha and Beta I have ever met, if not more so because not only are they able to bare children and work, but they put up with us Alphas and they have the ability to completely control an entire group of Alphas with one look. You would do well to remember that and show all Omegas, but especially your daughter who loves you despite everything you have done to her, the respect and awe they deserve. I have recently learned that your people seem to be under the impression that an Alpha is unable to control their urges when they smell an Omega in heat. That it’s the Omega’s fault if they get caught in a heat near an Alpha and something happens. That is ridiculous and untrue and you KNOW it,” Lexa roared into Abby’s face.

There was a flash of agreement in Abby’s eyes that Lexa picked up on immediately. “See, I knew you knew it was ridiculous. But you supported your people’s beliefs anyway because it’s a form of control, isn’t it? To keep the Omegas in line on the Ark. To keep them afraid so they don’t take power away from your weak, pride driven Alpha hands,” Lexa accused. 

Abby blinked slowly and Lexa knew she was right again. “Exactly. Well I’m telling you that stops now. You are on the ground now and here we respect our Omegas. They are treasured as they should be. You will go back to your people and you will tell all of your people this. You will tell them that if I hear even a hint that an Alpha has forced themselves on an Omega I will make death by 1000 cuts seem pleasant in comparison to what I will do to them. You will tell all of your Alphas that they are to start respecting all Omegas and that from now on they are all required to be monitored while on my territory. If even one of your Alphas takes so much as one step into Trikru territory without being escorted by one of my Alpha or Omega warriors, I will consider it an act of war and respond accordingly. There is a group of warriors camped outside of the gates of Camp Jaha, as I’m sure you’ve noticed. If any of your Alphas need to come onto my territory you will tell those warriors and they will send for escorts. As for your Omegas, you will tell them that if any of them feel or have ever felt at all threatened by your Alphas they are welcomed into my territory with open arms. They can also approach my warriors outside your gates and they will bring them here. You will let them go willingly and without reproach. Here they will be provided for, protected, and respected as they should be. This is nonnegotiable. If any of your people challenge this I will not hesitate to kill you,” Lexa growled with a sense of finality. “Is that understood?” She demanded.

Abby, unable to move her head, opened her mouth and let out a croak that had been meant to be agreement, but she didn’t have the air to make it clear. She may be stubborn, but she knew when she was beat and this show of aggression from Lexa made it clear that she had no chance of fighting her. Lexa seemed to understand her croak as the agreement it was meant to be, or at least she sensed Abby’s defeat, because she nodded slowly and let go of Abby’s throat without warning. Abby fell to the floor coughing and spluttering as she held her throat and sucked air into her aching lungs. 

Lexa was careful not to shift too much as she dropped the woman and watched her struggle because during her speech Clarke had molded herself even more to Lexa’s back and was currently taking deep, slow breaths while Lexa could feel hot tears seeping through her coat where Clarke’s face was resting and Lexa didn’t want to break whatever comfort or strength she was providing the Omega. After a moment, when the sounds of Abby gasping for breath had died down slightly, Lexa felt Clarke nod softly into her back and then pull away. 

Lexa turned to face the Omega and check on her. Although Clarke’s face was slightly red and puffy from crying, she looked relieved, calm, and somewhat happy. But, before Lexa could ask about her well-being, Clarke said, “Lexa, do you think I could have a minute to speak to my mom alone? I know it’s your tent a-“

“Of course,” Lexa cut her off to assure her. “It’s as much yours as it is mine, now. I will go speak to Indra outside, we have matters to discuss now,” Lexa cast a small glance back to the Alpha still submissively on the floor. “Call for me if you need me or when you’re ready for me to return.”

Clarke nodded and Lexa shot one more growl of warning at Abby before she marched out of the tent. Clarke sighed as she looked down at her mother. Carefully, she reached down a hand and helped the woman to her feet. They stood there in silence for several seconds. All of the anger and fight Abby had been holding onto for so long seemed to have seeped from her bones and now all she could feel was a deep sadness as she looked at her daughter. She had wanted so much for Clarke, but when she and Jake had realized she was an Omega all of those dreams had been shattered. She had spent so many years being angry and embarrassed about her daughter, and then Jake, that she had never really paused to look at Clarke. To think about her. To look past the Ark’s beliefs and see her, as Jake had. And now she was really wishing she had because she had missed so much. She had been so stupid. Now she’d lost both of them.

After another moment, Abby whispered, “I’m sorry, Clarke. I never meant for any of this to happen. I just-“

“You just wanted an Alpha daughter,” Clarke interrupted. “Its fine, I get it. I had hoped that you would grow to accept me as I am. As a strong Omega, but I can see that’s probably not going to happen. All I ask now is that you let me be. Follow Lexa’s restrictions. Help our people. And in a few days, when Lexa and I officially announce our intentions to mate in the Trikru ceremony, don’t challenge her. Don’t interfere. I know what I’m doing. I can take care of myself and our people. I’m just sorry you can’t see that.”

Unsure of what to say and feeling as if she didn’t really have the right to say anything, Abby just nodded mutely. Clarke nodded back, staring at her for several more long seconds. Or they may have been minutes. Neither woman was sure. All either of them could think about were their pains and regrets. Eventually, Clarke nodded much more decisively and said, “Good. Good. You can head back to Camp now. I’m sure Lexa has an escort for you by now.”

Abby nodded mutely again and was headed out the entrance, almost gone, when she heard Clarke say quietly, almost as if she was ashamed, “I still love you, mom.”

Turning to face her again while standing in the flaps of the tent, Abby said, “I love you too, Clarke.” And then she turned and walked out of the tent.

Clarke’s face turned even more sad as she said, “I wish that were true,” to the empty tent. 

Clarke stood in the middle of the tent cold, lonely, and sad for several more minutes. At some point tears had started rolling down her face and she started to feel very weak and pathetic. It took her overwhelmed mind a few minutes to register that this was probably a reaction to the extreme amounts of stressful emotion she had been exposed to while still in her heat, but the thought did very little to make her feel any less pathetic and vulnerable in the moment. 

After a while she began to wonder why Lexa hadn’t returned to her yet. She needed her Alpha. Lexa’s conversations with Indra, no matter how complicated and intense, didn’t normally last all that long. The two women seemed to have mastered a form of communication that involved as few words as possible for each order and situation, so Clarke was beginning to worry about what was keeping Lexa away from her. That maybe Lexa didn’t want to come back. That she was staying away on purpose.

But, before that line of thought could get any more out of hand, Clarke remembered all of the times Lexa had assured her she loved and wanted her, so she frantically searched her mind for another possible explanation for Lexa’s extended absence. Which is when she remembered that Lexa had told her to call for her when she was ready for Lexa to come back. Could it be possible that Lexa was just waiting outside of the flaps to her own tent for Clarke to give her permission to come back to her? Clarke stared at the tent flaps a few feet in front of her in disbelief. There was only one was to find out, she reasoned, so a moment later she tentatively called out a quiet, “Lexa!” It had been barely loud enough to be heard through the tent walls, but it had been enough. Before the sound had even completely finished leaving Clarke, the flaps flew open and Lexa rushed in.

Lexa had been waiting just outside of her tent flaps for what felt like ages. It had only taken a few minutes to check in with Indra, relay all of her new orders regarding the Skaikru, and deal with any information that Lexa had missed over the past day, so she was already waiting in position when she heard that last few sentences of Clarke’s exchange with her mother. She had watched as Abby’s face had crumbled as she stepped through the flaps and heard Clarke’s response to her mother’s declaration of love. It had pleased Lexa slightly to see the woman in so much pain, knowing how much pain she had caused Clarke in the past, but the wrecked tone she could also hear in Clarke’s voice distracted her immediately. It was all she could do to keep herself from rushing into the tent to comfort her hurting Omega, but Clarke had not called for her yet and she would respect that and remain outside until Clarke wanted her.

Instead she saw that Abby was escorted back to Skaikru territory by two of her stronger Alpha warriors before she positioned herself directly on the other side of her tent flaps, almost touching them, and waited, straining her ears for even the slightest, softest call from Clarke. It was agony. She could feel Clarke’s body’s call for her. Sense and smell the girl’s distress. Hear the tears and sniffles. But Clarke had not called for her, so she must wait. Every minute she had to prevent herself from rushing in or overthinking why Clarke didn’t seem to want her comfort because she knew in her heart that she respected Clarke enough to allow her this private time even if it was killing Lexa in the process. 

And then she heard it. It was the best and worst thing she had ever heard in her life because Clarke had called her name, declared that she wanted her comfort in this time of need, but it sounded so broken and hesitant that Lexa was sure it had gutted her in the process of entering her ears. She was inside the tent before the sound of her name on Clarke’s lips had even finished rattling through her body, and the sight that greeted her only made her rush to Clarke even more quickly. 

Clarke was standing in the middle of Lexa’s tent, crying, and hugging herself when Lexa burst in. Their eyes locked immediately and Lexa wasted no time before she rushed to Clarke and pulled her into her chest, wrapping her arms around her immediately, purr growling – something Clarke hadn’t even known was a thing until then, let alone realized exactly how much she desired to hear it from Lexa – and providing every ounce of comfort that Clarke could ever want or need. 

Clarke held her back just as fiercely, wrapping her arms around Lexa’s middle and burrowing her head into Lexa’s neck as she cried even harder and started whispering, “Thank you,” over and over again into Lexa’s skin. Lexa hushed her immediately. Assured her there was no reason to thank her while putting all of her effort into calming the Omega who had stolen her heart. After a period of time that could have been years for all either woman cared, Clarke’s tears began to slow and the full-body shudders began to subside. It was then that Lexa offered to take them back to bed. Clarke had merely nodded softly from her position against the Alpha’s neck as her grip on the other girl tightened. Lexa still managed to lift Clarke so that the Omega could wrap her legs around Lexa as well, ignored the pressure that put on her crotch, and gently carried Clarke back to bed where she could sleep, rest, and recover.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do have a tumblr under the same user name if anyone ever wants to talk about the story or whatever. It can be difficult to talk on here.


	7. Can We Just Lay Here For a While?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke gets some much needed rest and they make it through the end of this heat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all! Sorry this chapter is short and not all that much happens, but I was needing fluff, so you got fluff. I'll try to update soon, but for now I must sleep. Classes start again tomorrow. Oh joy.

Every tear that continued to run down Clarke’s face and onto Lexa’s neck felt like another stab to the Alpha’s heart. She hated seeing her Omega in pain and it killed her to know that she couldn’t protect her from it this time. Instead, she resolved herself to doing as much as possible to sooth the hurt that Clarke’s mother and people had caused in the girl’s heart. So, she carried her as gently as possible to her bed of furs and attempted to pry the girl’s hands from their holds on Lexa’s body in order to place the girl in the bed, but Clarke wouldn’t let go. When Lexa shifted tactics and tried to unwrap Clarke’s legs from around her waist, she was met with tightening muscles and a soft growl from the distressed, half-asleep Omega.

Lexa chuckled softly and whispered, “You must let go, ai hodnes, so that we may lay down.”

In response, Clarke’s grip only seemed to tighten as she whimpered into Lexa’s shoulder, “I need this.”

Sighing, Lexa maintained her hold on the blonde wrapped around her body and eyed the furs in front of her for inspiration. She raised her eyebrow when only one solution came to mind. Slowly, the Alpha turned so that her back was to the bed and, sighing again, lowered herself to a seated position as carefully as she could so as not to tip over because of the added weight on her front. Soon, she found herself sitting perched on the edge of the bed with Clarke straddling her hips, still very much molded to Lexa’s torso. The Omega purred in response to the new position. 

Chuckling softly again, Lexa tried once more to loosen the girl’s hold on her shoulders in order to shift her off of her lap and onto the bed beside her. Clarke still wouldn’t let go. Lexa let out a soft huff, but didn’t dare say anything to disturb the Omega in her lap whose breathing had finally started to even out into a deep, slow rhythm. Instead, she kept one hand wrapped around Clarke’s back to hold her in place while she used the other one to scoot up the length of the bed. When she got to the center, she leaned back as slowly as she could, suddenly very grateful for all of the warrior training she had to go through because it provided her with strong core muscles, and relaxed against the pillows and furs. 

The Omega was still slightly conscious at this point, so it registered, if only partially, when she felt Lexa not completely relax underneath her. The Alpha was still purring quietly to her, she hadn’t stopped since she had picked her up in the main part of the tent, and the fact that she hadn’t forced Clarke off of her and made her lay down, but understood that Clarke couldn’t bear the separation at the moment and went out of her way to find a way onto the bed without disturbing her even though she was clearly uncomfortable, was more touching than she could fully comprehend at the moment. 

All she knew was that the painful ache throughout her body that had been there since the conversation with her mother was beginning to turn into just an exhausted ache that was making it more and more difficult to think, but she wanted to express some of her gratitude toward her Alpha and hopefully relax her before Clarke completely passed out on top of her. She’d be sure to tell the Alpha just how much all of this meant to her as soon as she had the chance to fully think it through and form complete sentences.

For now, the only thing she could think to do was shift her face slightly so that her lips were pressed against the juncture of Lexa’s neck where it met her shoulder. She could feel the pull toward the fluttering pulse point only a few inches away, but ignored it for now in favor of placing a series of slow, grateful kissed along the juncture and down the small amount of collarbone that Lexa’s buttoned up coat left exposed. 

Lexa wasn’t sure what to do. She could feel the love and gratitude behind each of the Omega’s fleeting, soft kisses, but she wasn’t sure exactly what their purpose was. She could smell and feel the exhaustion rolling off of the girl in waves, so she knew that she probably wasn’t trying to seduce her again, she just couldn’t comprehend why else Clarke would gift her with such a loving, intimate gesture. She hadn’t been able to protect the Omega and didn’t feel she deserved the affectionate touches. However, as the kisses continued for a few minutes, despite the fact that she could tell Clarke was fighting for consciousness at this point, she couldn’t help but melt in response.

Clarke felt Lexa relax completely under her after a few minutes of kisses and couldn’t fight the small smile that broke out across the lips she still had pressed into the warm skin. Purring loudly, she placed one more kiss directly over that fluttering spot on Lexa’s neck before burrowing her face in once more and falling asleep.

Lexa sighed in happiness. Despite the fact that she could not join her Omega in sleep, considering she had already slept more with the girl in the last day than she normally did in three, she was perfectly content to lay there and hold Clarke to her. For the next several hours, Lexa merely laid there and listened to Clarke’s breathing, felt the tension and pain bleed from the girl’s muscles, and, after a small shift that allowed the both of them to rest on their sides, watched the peaceful expressions on Clarke’s face as she dreamed. Clarke slept four hours and hours, her body and mind needing a lot of rest after the stress of the previous day. It wasn’t until long after the first light of the next day began to trickle into the tent that Clarke finally began to stir. 

Lexa watched transfixed as Clarke’s eyes flickered open to reveal the sharp blue of a sea after a storm. It took a few seconds for the Omega to adjust and remember what was going on, but she never once broke eye contact, seemed panicked, or became upset as she figured it out. Lexa allowed her hand to brush up and down Clarke’s side as she waited patiently for the sleep to shake itself from Clarke’s mind and, once it did, she was rewarded with a large, sleepy, shining smile from the blonde.

A heartbeat later, Clarke’s eyes broke from hers for the first time since her waking to glance around the tent, back to Lexa, and then down to follow Lexa’s hand’s path as it continued up her side form her hip by going over the side of her back, to her shoulder, and then back again. Lexa held her breath as Clarke shifted to grab her hand on its next descent, suddenly fearful she had overstepped despite the conversation about intentions they’d had the day before. But, she was soon allowed to let out that breath in a relieved sigh when Clarke merely took her hand in her own, raised it to her lips so that she could kiss the knuckles, and met her eyes again as she whispered a quiet, slightly shy, “Hi.”

A small smile appeared on Lexa’s face in return, “Hello, hodnes. Did you sleep well?”

Clarke closed her eyes as she hummed her assent, still holding Lexa’s hand on the pillow between their faces, only a few inches from Clarke’s lips. Lexa could actually feel the warm brush of air across the back of her hand when Clarke asked in a deep, sleep filled voice, “How long was I out?” as she blinked her eyes open again to meet Lexa’s.

“Through the night. It is mid-morning now,” Lexa replied.

Clarke blinked in surprise. Blue eyes clouded in confusion and guilt as Clarke retreated a few inches from Lexa on the pillow. “Why did you let me sleep so long? You didn’t have to stay with me the whole time. I know it must have been boring,” Clarke said in a distressed rush.

Lexa, not liking Clarke’s retreat, shifted forward to follow Clarke across the pillow as she shushed her quietly. “It is okay, Clarke. Your body needed the rest. You have had a trying heat and it was my honor to watch over you as you slept. I assure you, it was not boring, hodnes.”

Clarke’s lips formed a soft line as she considered Lexa’s words, almost as if she were assessing their sincerity. After a while, she asked, “You keep using that word ‘hodnes,’ what does it mean?”

Excited that Clarke seemed to have accepted that she did not cause Lexa any inconvenience, she eagerly replied, “It is a term of endearment. ‘Ai hodnes,’ or simply ‘hodnes,’ means ‘my love’ or ‘love’ among my people.” Lexa smiled softly at Clarke for a moment before adding in an afterthought, “If it makes you uncomfortable I ca-“

“No, I like it,” Clarke cut her off. “Hodnes,” Clarke tested the word on her tongue. “Ai hodnes,” she rolled the syllables around for several long seconds, feeling them.

Lexa had to suppress the shiver hearing those words of love out of Clarke mouth, in Lexa’s own language nonetheless. Despite the fact that they weren’t actually directed at her, hearing them fall from Clarke’s lips seemed to do something deep inside of Lexa’s chest. 

Clarke, of course, noticed immediately and Lexa watched as an extra gleam appeared in sparkling blue eyes. Clarke slid forward again, pressing her front to Lexa’s on the bed and still keeping their hands clasped together between them, but moving them close enough that she could run the back of her hand along the Alpha’s jaw. Then, she whispered into Lexa’s lips, “Hear something you like, ai hodnes?”

When Lexa was only able to respond with a deep shiver and excited nod, Clarke smiled devilishly and asked, “So I’m assuming you’re okay with me using your culture’s terms of endearment, hodnes?”

Every time Lexa watched Clarke’s lips roll over those delicate syllables, a shiver ran down her spine and it took all of her willpower not to lean forward and capture those lips in a deep kiss. Seeing her hesitation, Clarke did it for her. One moment Lexa was watching entranced as Clarke’s lips ran over the last word and the next those lips were attaching them to hers. Soft, giving, loving lips that were sucking and pulling on her own as she struggled to keep up. A tongue swiped her bottom lip, begging for entrance without challenging her, and she didn’t hesitate to open her mouth and explore that wet, warm, delicious heat. Their tongues danced together for minutes on end, neither claiming complete dominance as they traded it back and forth in the kiss. 

An unknown amount of time later, Lexa found herself breaking the kiss completely out of breath, only to start gasping for air as Clarke trailed kissed down Lexa’s neck. In a sudden rush of confidence, Clarke rolled Lexa onto her back and climbed on top of her as she continued to kiss, bite, suck, and nip her way down the Alpha’s neck. Leaving small bruises and marks, but not risking breaking the skin and claiming a mating first. It wasn’t until she had reached the top of the Alpha’s buttoned coat, which barred further exploration of the tanned, warm skin, and begun to use her hands to unbutton the coat and reveal more skin to explore, that the Alpha beneath her used one hand to stop both of Clarke’s while the other cupped the Omega’s jaw to pull her away from her chest in order to look into her eyes. 

Dark, lust filled blue eyes met the Alpha’s gaze as Clarke leaned forward to attach their lips in another kiss, thinking that was the point of the interruption, only to be stopped by firmer pressure on her jaw. Confusion spread across Clarke’s face and Lexa was quick to stroke the girl’s jaw with her thumb to calm her before she began to think this was a rejection. “What’s wrong?” Clarke asked in a deep, husky voice.

“Nothing is wrong, Clarke. Believe me, I would like nothing more than to continue, but we must stop,” Lexa said, still breathing harshly.

Frowning, Clarke whined, “Why? I want this. You said you want this. We know we love each other. We talked about mating. Agreed. I want you, Lexa.”

Sighing, Lexa said, “I know, hodnes. But as I said, I cannot take advantage of you while in heat. Your symptoms may be suppressed and those suppressants may make heats shorter, but it has still only been two days. You have at least a day or two left in your heat and I refuse to rob you of the opportunity to change your mind once it is truly clear once again. Just in case. I cannot do it.”

Huffing even though a large part of her brain that wasn’t currently overrun by hormones was deeply touched by Lexa’s words, Clarke realized that she would not be able to talk the Alpha out of her decision. So, she ground her hips down on the stiff bulge she could feel between the other girl’s hips and whispered, “We don’t have to mate, Lex. It could just be sex,” directly into her ear.

Groaning loudly, Lexa pulled Clarke’s head back up so that she could rest their foreheads together. “You do not make this easy, love. But I must refrain from even that. Knowing what I now know, I need to be positive that you know, understand, and accept any advancements we make in our intimacy.” 

Clarke closed her eyes, accepting defeat even though she could feel her blood thrumming through her veins and an intense heat pooling in the pit of her stomach. It seemed there was nothing she could do to change Lexa’s mind. After a few moments of deep breathing, Clarke opened her eyes again, much calmer now, and asked Lexa, “Okay, then. How do you plan on spending the next day or two?”

“First, we could eat and get you more suppressants, you could use some more,” Lexa started. Clarke frowned at that, suddenly realizing just how long it had been since her last dose and understanding that her recent bout of lust may not have been driven with a completely clear head, as she had originally thought. “Then,” Lexa continued, “we could talk until you get tired again?”

Clarke smiled. “That sounds perfect,” she said as she began to roll off of the Alpha and bed. Lexa laid there for another few moments in an attempt to shake off the remnants of her desire before she too rolled off of the bed, prepared for her time with Clarke. 

The heat did end up lasting a full two more days, which the two young leaders spent holed up in Lexa’s tent, eating, talking, and sleeping in each other’s arms. There was even a fair amount of kissing, although the heat driven Clarke never was able to get Lexa to go beyond that. And so, before it even felt like any time had really passed at all for Lexa, who had thoroughly enjoyed living with Clarke in their own bubble of happiness away from their responsibilities, she found herself curled around the Omega as she slept peacefully once again, taking deep breaths full of the scent of the last remains of Clarke’s heat, and worrying for the first time in three days what Clarke’s reaction would be to her when she woke up. Lexa didn’t sleep much at all that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do have a tumblr under the same user name if anyone ever wants to talk about the story or whatever. It can be difficult to talk on here.


	8. It's Easier Than You're Making It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke deals with Lexa's fears in her own way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all! I know it's short again, but I think I'm only going to have time for short chapters for a while at least, so sorry. But it's better than nothing, right? I hope you like it. It's nice to finally write some confident Clarke. I hope I do her justice. As always, I'd love to hear what you think!

Clarke woke curled around a tense, fidgety body. Before she opened her eyes, she thought Lexa was having a nightmare because it had been days since she felt Lexa this stressed and uncomfortable around her. But, once she did open her eyes, she saw Lexa’s profile. Her mouth was pinched in a tight line and her eyes were wide and staring worriedly up at the ceiling. Clarke knew that a bad dream wasn’t the problem. Slowly, Clarke reached out her arm to drape across Lexa’s chest so that her hand could run along the far side of her jaw and pull her face to her. “What’s wrong?” she whispered to her.

Lexa startled slightly at the touch, having been so caught up in her concerns she hadn’t noticed Clarke stirring, but once she felt the touch she allowed herself to be pulled to face the Omega without struggle. Once facing the other girl, she could only meet those blue eyes fleetingly, for a few seconds each time, because she was too afraid to stare into them long enough to read the emotions hidden behind them, just in case those emotions were no longer of love or desire. When Clarke spoke, Lexa closed her eyes for a second, reveling in the tone of soft concern, before shaking her head slightly and asking a question of her own, “How do you feel, Clarke? Is the heat over?”

Clarke didn’t say anything for several seconds. She just scanned Lexa’s face and took in the hesitant glances the Alpha was giving her while she tried to understand what Lexa wasn’t telling her. Eventually, she said, “No more heat symptoms. I finally feel like myself. Much less out of control.”

Lexa tried to keep an impassive face, but couldn’t quite hide her flinch at the thought of Clarke not having felt like herself over the past few days. If Clarke hadn’t felt like herself, then it was very possible she hadn’t meant any of the things she had said to Lexa in that time. And that realization cut through her like the strike of a mostly dull sword – forcefully ripping through each layer of defense her heart could muster until all that was left was an intense pain and bloody trail.

Clarke noticed the flinch and frowned. She ran her last few sentences over in her head a few times trying to figure out what would have upset Lexa and why she was still avoiding her eyes or answering her question. After a few minutes, it dawned on her. Lexa actually thought Clarke was going to change her mind now that her heat was over. Clarke’s face darkened and she sat up abruptly.

Lexa watched as Clarke studied her. The blonde was clearly deep in thought and Lexa assumed that Clarke was analyzing what had happened during her heat. 

So she waited. 

And waited.

And several agonizing minutes of not being able to read her face later, Lexa’s heart collapsed in on itself as she watched Clarke’s face darken just before the Omega sat up on the bed as fast as she could, forcefully wrenching herself out of any physical contact with Lexa. 

Lexa swallowed painfully. It felt as if the smoldering ashes of her own heart were stuck in her chest and throat, burning her alive from the inside out. 

Clarke did not want her now, Lexa realized. Clarke didn’t even want to touch her now, Lexa’s mind specified. She is going to tell her that it was all a mistake and leave and never come back, her mind repeated. You’ve lost another mate, became a chant in time with the loud, thudding, remembered echoes of the beat of her no longer working heart. 

Lexa did not even bother sitting up next to Clarke. She remained laying on her back, deciding that it would be easier to take whatever Clarke was going to say to let her down, while lying down. She didn’t think she really had the strength to sit up anyway. It was taking everything she had to keep her face passive and she was pretty sure she was even failing at that. 

Angrily, Clarke turned to face the Alpha, only to be surprised to see nothing but empty air beside her. Shifting her body, she looked down to the brown haired girl with what she had intended to be a scolding glare, but softened immediately when she saw the vulnerable, only-holding-it-together-with-spit-and-a-roll-of-tape look on the generally strong and stoic commander’s face. 

Lexa saw the change on Clarke’s face and cursed her own weakness. She had known that she wasn’t doing a very good job hiding her current emotional state, but now Clarke had obviously noticed and would think even less of her and only remember this side of her and Lexa wasn’t sure if she was going to survive this day. The Alpha was just beginning to plan in her mind how she would manage to accept Clarke’s rejection and pity with any form of grace when the other girl moved again, but it wasn’t away from her this time. 

Lexa was completely taken off guard when Clarke immediately laid back down, draping her entire body across Lexa’s and pressing herself against Lexa’s rigid form until every curve, dip, and line on the two forms fir together like a puzzle. 

The Omega leaned her head down until their faces were only an inch or so away from each other and then she cupped Lexa’s face between her palms. When Lexa’s slightly teary green eyes met blue, Clarke crossed the remaining space and started placing small, chaste, comforting, loving kisses on Lexa’s lips over and over again, whispering a word between each kiss, “It’s. okay. ai. hodnes. I’m here. I’m here. I’m. not. leaving. never. leaving. I love you. I love you.”

By the end, Clarke’s words had become breathless and teary with her passion, almost making it impossible to hear and understand them, but Lexa heard her. And she understood what they meant. But she didn’t believe it. She cursed her own weakness again as her head told her that Clarke must be telling her this to prevent hurting her more. She had seen the weakness it caused in Lexa and didn’t want to be the cause. Clarke was the selfless type, it was possible that she would be willing to sacrifice her own desires to spare someone pain. Especially if it were someone she needed to keep her people safe, as she needed Lexa. 

That thought began to spiral into its own scenario. Clarke might even still be afraid of what she thinks Lexa might do based on her previous bad experiences with Alphas. She might fear for her own physical safety or for that of her people, worried that Lexa would be vengeful after suffering such heartbreak at the hands of the Omega leader.

Lexa felt as if all of the blood had drained out of her body. It would make sense that Clarke would feel this way. Lexa had betrayed her before. She had shown that she was cruel and willing to do whatever it takes to make something she wanted happen. And worst of all, over the past few days Lexa had shown Clarke that she was highly unstable when it came to matters of the heart. As she remembered the incident with the Alpha warrior who had entered the tent that first morning, as well as the way she had almost ripped out her mother’s throat right in front of her, Lexa convinced herself more and more that she would be an idiot to believe that Clarke’s current declarations were real. 

The thought of allowing Clarke to do something she didn’t want to do, especially mate with someone as cold and heartless as herself when Clarke was so warm, full of love, and deserving of so much love, gave Lexa all of the strength she needed to do what was necessary. Slowly, she reached her arms up from where they had been resting by her sides and cradled Clarke’s head. She felt every strand of that soft, silky hair beneath her callused fingers, shuddered at the brush of skin on skin as her hard palm curved over a delicate cheekbone, and relished the last brush of Clarke’s lips against her own – the Omega had never ceased giving her those small kisses – before Lexa pulled the girl’s head back slightly so that they had enough distance between them that she could see into Clarke’s eyes and Clarke could no longer kiss her.

Clarke had thought her reassurances had been successful when Lexa’s fingers threaded themselves though her hair. She was preparing herself for the inevitable deepening of the kiss. She assumed that her Alpha would want to take advantage of the fact that Clarke had a completely clear head now. Clarke hoped that her Alpha would finally accept one of Clarke’s many attempts at seduction. 

Although, now that she’s out of heat, she wasn’t quite sure she was really ready to have sex with Lexa, let alone mate with her. Sex with Finn had been different because he was a Beta and there was never much threat from him. Sex with Lexa would be a completely different level full of emotions and pheromones that sometimes trigger scary memories and reactions in Clarke. It would be a big, tricky step that she wasn’t quite prepared to take. But she would be willing to do anything to get that heartbroken look off of Lexa’s face. 

However, when Lexa pulled her head backwards and Clarke caught sight of the Alpha’s steely, sad gaze, she knew she had failed. Before she could speak again and try a different approach, Lexa said, “It is okay, Klark.”

Despite the fact that Lexa was clearly doing everything in her power to appear strong, calm, and confident, the slip in her pronunciation was enough to tell Clarke just how emotional Lexa was. Like before when Lexa had been threatening her mother, it was as if Lexa was so emotional her brain was forgetting how to translate properly. 

Her eyes searched Lexa’s frantically for any sign of what was going on inside the Alpha’s head as Lexa kept speaking, “You do not have to pretend. There is no need for your sacrifice. I will not be vengeful in my heartbreak. I will let you go and respect your decision without a fight. I swear it.”

Clarke furrowed her brows. What the hell was she talking about? She wasn’t pretending. There was no need for Lexa to be heartbroken. Clarke wasn’t going anywhere ever again. Why the hell couldn’t Lexa get it through her thick Alpha skull that Clarke knew what she was doing? That she wanted her. For an Alpha who claims to respect an Omega’s right to choose, she wasn’t paying much attention to Clarke’s choices. 

Growling, Clarke moved to straddle the Alpha fully and used the grip she still had on the other girl’s face to push her head down into the pillow so that she could loom over her and insure that she had Lexa’s full attention. 

Lexa’s eyes widened when Clarke turned aggressive and she was ashamed to note that her cock strained against the confines of her pants in response to the return of Clarke’s growl. It was still the sexiest and most terrifying thing she had ever witnessed, and Clarke was barely even growling this time. When Clarke pushed her head into the pillow she didn’t fight it. The growl and display of aggression from Clarke had turned her into putty in the Omega’s hands.

As soon as Clarke got comfortably situated over the Alpha, she said through her growl, “Listen to me, Lexa, because I don’t want to have to go over this again. I want you. I don’t know how you got it into your head that I don’t, but I do. My heat is over, Lexa. It’s over. And I still choose you as my mate because I love you.”

Lexa opened her mouth to dispute that claim based on the fact that Lexa did not feel she deserved Clarke’s love, but the words never made it out after Clarke’s growl intensified in response to the action. 

Clarke kept going, “You claim to listen to and respect Omega decisions and desires, but I am starting to feel like everything I say is ignored. I realize that while I was in heat you had reason to doubt. But you don’t anymore. So unless this is your way of telling me that you’ve changed your mind, I think you should kiss me for a while and then get out of this bed with me so that we can check on our peoples and start the traditions and rituals that will allow us to mate and lead together.”

Lexa’s mouth opened and closed for several seconds without any sound coming out. She had no idea what to say. The intensity of Clarke’s gaze, the passion in her words, the conviction laced in Clarke’s pheromones, it all filled Lexa with the warmest sensation she had ever felt. Suddenly, all of her fears seemed ridiculous. All of the worrying she had done the night before had obviously allowed her to work herself into an idiotic frenzy. Clarke loved her. Of course Clarke loved her. And she loved Clarke. And they were to mate and lead together, as Clarke had said. They had talked about it. Discussed it in length several times. How could she have been so stupid? 

Suddenly feeling very foolish, Lexa just gave Clarke one firm, decisive nod and whispered, “Ai hod yu in, Klark.” 

Clarke smiled, nodded back, and muttered, “And don’t you forget it,” as she leaned in for a deep kiss. But, as Clarke had warned her it would, the kiss only lasted a few minutes, just enough time to get Lexa even more worked up, before Clarke was breaking herself free from the Alpha’s lips and rolling off the side of the bed. “You have ten minutes to do what you need to do to get ready. I’ll be waiting in the main tent,” Clarke shot over her shoulder as she walked out of the sleeping area. 

Lexa let out a loud groan, highly frustrated, but rushed to get ready anyway. She didn’t want to anger her Omega again…at least not when they had things to take care of and no time to be alone together for a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do have a tumblr under the same user name if anyone ever wants to talk about the story or whatever. It can be difficult to talk on here.


	9. It's a Long Way Down, Long Way Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa and Clarke try to reenter everyday life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all! Here is another chapter. I was kind of frustrated today, so you got some more angst (Sorry...kind of?). I just can't seem to help putting these two through stress. But I hope you enjoy it anyway. Just try to keep in mind that Clarke was literally raised in the toxic environment I set up on the Ark. As always, I love to read your comments.

It ended up taking much longer than ten minutes for the Alpha and Omega pair to make it out of the tent. Although Lexa had been quick in getting ready to meet Clarke’s deadline, there had been a few lengthy kissing delays as they tried to eat a quick breakfast together in the main part of the tent before leaving and it ended up taking at least an hour to force themselves out of the bubble of happiness that they had created there over the last few days. 

When they did finally manage to make the trek out of those tent flaps and back into the real world, Indra wasted no time before attaching herself to Lexa’s side and starting her report, completely ignoring Clarke as she explained to the Heda how her camp had been as well as how Lexa’s newest commands for the Sky People had been carried out and accepted. And, while she was happy to hear that her mother had been cooperative with Lexa’s demands, allowing over twenty Omegas to flee freely into the safety of Lexa’s lands and preventing any angry Alphas from revolting and/or fighting back, the way that the Beta was completely ignoring her, blocking her from walking at Lexa’s side, and not even bothering to pretend she was also addressing Clarke with the report concerning her people, as if she were less than a leader now that it was assumed she was Lexa’s mate, was slowly beginning to eat at Clarke as they made their way across camp. And Lexa wasn’t trying to correct the situation, either. She was focused intently on Indra’s report, seeming to be paying no attention to whether or not Clarke was even still following them.

And it hurt Clarke. She had thought they had agreed to command together as equals, but here they were, less than five minutes out of the tent, and Clarke was already starting to feel like she had back on the Ark – ignored and unimportant. The thought that maybe her mother had been right, that maybe Lexa wouldn’t see her as a co-leader once they were mated, that even while Lexa respected her, she would now expect Clarke to be the Commander’s submissive Omega mate with no real power, began to completely dominate Clarke’s mind. She stopped even trying to listen to what the Beta warrior was saying as she wondered what she’d gotten herself into, feeling positively heartbroken that the dreams she had for leading with Lexa might have been shattered. 

Suddenly, she was pulled from her thoughts when the two warriors in front of her stopped abruptly. Clarke pulled her gaze from the muddy earth in front of her feet that she had been staring at pensively as she walked and was surprised to find Lexa facing her, standing only a few inches away, and looking at her with deep, penetrating eyes. 

Lexa, now used to being so in tune with Clarke’s scent, had been having an increasingly difficult time listening to Indra as the Beta gave her report. While her training made it possible to hear and digest every word the warrior said to her, even while distracted, her inner Alpha was howling angrily about the separation from her Omega and demanding that she push Indra aside and pull Clarke into her rightful place next to her. She could smell her so close by. Practically taste the commanding, contented Omega pheromones floating off of the blonde, but she could do nothing demonstrative of her emotions in public, especially when they weren’t officially mated or married yet. She wanted to be next to Clarke, holding Clarke, leading with Clarke, but she knew she needed to pay attention to Indra and act official. She couldn’t be seen as weak, not after having disappeared from her people for days, not in front of Clarke, and most importantly not when still courting Clarke. She had already shown the Omega too much weakness and unitability over the last few days. She needed to remind her that she was strong and vital, too. An Alpha Commander worthy of mating. 

So, as the Beta filled her in, she puffed out her chest more, put on an extra show of dominance and control, and strutted her way through her camp, while still paying careful attention to the Omega’s scent. Hoping to sense some sort of positive reaction. Maybe arousal, or need, or general attraction. But, as the Omega’s scent began to slowly shift to an overpowering aroma of weariness and resignation mixed with a hurt so intense it bordered on heartbreak, Lexa’s display snapped. She disregarded any concerns about displaying her care for Clarke in front of her people and whirled around in the mud to face her Omega, immediately invading her space, sensing that Indra had stopped as well but paying her no mind as she tried to discover what was hurting Clarke so that she could destroy it. 

She watched, scanning the Omega’s face intently, as Clarke registered the stop and raised her head from the defeated, lowered position it had been in. When their eyes finally met and she looked into Clarke’s, her breath hitched to see the doubt and pain swirling in those blue pools. Frowning, she stepped even closer to her Omega, hoping to smother the girl in Alpha pheromones in order to comfort her, reassure her that she was there and would defend her against this new hurt, but was baffled to see Clarke’s features harden in response. 

Clarke couldn’t believe it. She wasn’t sure what she had done, whether it was miss a command directed at her or if it was some other insult via cultural differences, but all of the sudden Lexa was in her space, surrounding her in dominant Alpha pheromones, challenging her, attempting to dominate her and make her submit in the middle of the grounder camp. Angry now, Clarke refused to let herself be treated this way in public, or at all, even if it was from Lexa. No matter how much she knew Lexa loved her, or how much she loved Lexa, she refused to let herself be continued to be put down because she was an Omega. She’d had enough of that on the Ark. Down here she wanted to be respected as a leader, an equal, she had proved herself worthy of that respect. So, when Lexa took another step into her space, accentuating their minor height difference in another attempt to establish her dominance, Clarke let her anger surface, hardened her face, and prepared herself for the fight she was sure they were about to have. If she didn’t establish herself now, she realized, then Lexa and her people would never respect her. 

As the anger came though on Clarke’s face and in her scent, Lexa panicked. She wasn’t sure what was going on. All she knew was that something had hurt, and now angered, her Omega and she wanted to fix it. She scanned Clarke frantically as the girl seemed to tense and draw herself up, as if responding to a challenge, as if preparing herself from a fight, as if- oh, Lexa realized as she quickly reviewed the last few minutes in her head. Clarke was responding to her. Clarke thought Lexa was challenging her in the middle of the camp, in front of all of her people. Lexa was sure that was why Clarke was angry, and she would be right in her anger if that had been Lexa’s intention, but she still wasn’t sure why her Omega had been so hurt before. So, in an attempt to at least calm Clarke’s anger enough for them to talk, Lexa dropped her shoulders so that she would appear shorter and less threatening, softened her eyes, and tried to pump out the most soothing pheromones she felt she could get away with in public without opening herself up for another Alpha’s challenge. 

Clarke froze in confusion as she watched Lexa’s expression shift from the penetrating glare she had originally been met with, to one that looked almost desperate and confused, to the relaxed, soothing one that now covered the commander’s face. For a moment, when Lexa had seemed confused and desperate, she was proud because she believed it was because Lexa hadn’t expected Clarke to resist her dominance and wasn’t sure what she could do to get Clarke to submit. But, when her expression then shifted again to that relaxed, soothing expression, accompanied by a compete shift in body language and pheromone output, as if she were trying to placate Clarke, not challenge her, Clarke lost all track of what was going on between them. It was as if Lexa had just recognized Clarke as an equal and Clarke didn’t know what to think. She certainly hadn’t been treating Clarke like an equal a few moments ago.

Maybe Lexa was messing with her? Playing with her head? She had been so sure of what was going on a moment ago and now she was just as lost and heartbroken as she had been while following the commander and Indra through the camp because Lexa seemed to be playing with her, manipulating her emotions, and she had thought she was away from stupid Alpha mind games like those. She thought she had left them behind along with the Ark and her mother. She had hoped Lexa was above that. But now it was seeming as if her mother had been right about all Alpha’s being the same and it felt like her heart was being ripped from her chest. Because she loved Lexa, above anything else she loved Lexa with all of her heart, and if the Alpha continued to mess with her head she wasn’t sure what she was going to do. She already considered herself Lexa’s and wasn’t sure if she’d survive leaving her… or staying if this is what it would be like. But, as she got lost in her thoughts, her feelings of confusion and heartbreak began to intensify again and she dropped a good amount of the angry, challenging body language and pheromones without really realizing it. Suddenly, she unconsciously presented as much less threatening. 

Lexa, on the other hand, noticed the lessening of Clarke’s anger immediately and took it as her chance to try and talk it out with Clarke without ruining her chances with the Omega. Slowly, while doing her absolute best to remain as nonthreatening as possible, she reached forward to pull Clarke into a warm, gentle hug while whispering to her, “I’m not trying to challenge you, Clarke, or dominate you. Not here in public. Not ever. I would never do that. I just want to know what is wrong. Why you are sad. Please, Clarke. I only wish to help you.” At first, she felt the Omega tense in her arms for a few seconds before, luckily, seeming to melt in her arms and listen to her words. 

After a second of debating whether or not she should accept the hug, worried it was yet another mind game, Clarke gave into her instincts and relaxed into it. No matter what, she loved and trusted the Alpha and with her reassuring words being whispered directly into her ear, along with the soothing, warm brush of breath each word carried with it, Clarke couldn’t help but believe in the possibility that maybe, just maybe, she had been wrong about the situation. After a little while, she not only melted into the hug, but returned it as well by dropping her head pushing her face into the soft skin and cover of cloth over Lexa’s sternum.

Lexa had stopped talking a while ago, but once she felt Clarke press into her, seeking out comfort from her once again, she felt that she might have gained back enough trust to ask Clarke, “Please, hodnes. Tell me what upset you so.”

Clarke took several deep breaths, savoring the feel of her skin against Lexa’s and the warm, comforting musk that Lexa emits when she’s concerned, confused, a little distraught, and desiring to comfort. She felt Lexa shiver as she breathed hot, moist air onto Lexa’s flesh and the clear reaction of desire and restraint gave Clarke the courage to ask Lexa directly what was going on. So, she picked up her head, looked Lexa directly in her slightly scared, but determined green eyes, and said, “Are you screwing with my head to make me submit to you and give up complete leadership to you?”

To say Lexa was shocked by the accusation would have been the biggest understatement since the technician who’d said, “That might be bad,” when they launched the first bomb during the end of the world. To say that she was hurt by the accusation wouldn’t have done justice to the sheer amount of emotion that poured through her at the mere thought of someone tearing Clarke down in such a way. And to say that the latest realization about just how awful the conditions of Clarke’s childhood on the Ark had been, to the point where Clarke might expect THIS after the hours and hours of love and devotion they had spent together, made Lexa physically weak and sick, wouldn’t have captured the feeling she was experiencing of everything in the world falling apart around her as she watched Clarke await her answer. And try to answer she did. She wanted so badly to answer and finally help Clarke to understand that she doesn’t need to ever suspect Lexa of betraying her in that way, or in any way, ever again. But as she opened and closed her mouth over and over again, she realized she had no idea how to articulate to Clarke that she was not messing with her head, in a way that wouldn’t seem like she was messing with her head. 

Luckily for Lexa, Clarke had been watching Lexa’s face extremely closely, so she noticed the absolutely crushed look that crossed the Alpha’s face in response to her question. Not that it was really that difficult to notice seeing as how the entire group of grounders that had been watching the strange interaction between leaders from a distance, also noticed Lexa’s reaction and quickly turned away to give the two some privacy, but neither girl noticed or cared. All Clarke cared about at the moment was that Lexa was clearly heartbroken to the point of speechlessness at the thought of doing something like that to Clarke, which immediately soothed every doubt and worry Clarke had, no explanation necessary. It clearly hadn’t been Lexa’s intention and that was all Clarke needed to know. 

All Lexa cared about was the fact that Clarke was suddenly smiling at her slightly and leaning in to press her face back into Lexa’s chest, kissing it gently every now and then. Lexa was helplessly confused. She was in no way complaining about Clarke’s sudden shift in demeanor, but she really wished she knew what she had done to deserve it. 

Gently, because she was still so, so confused, Lexa began to purr in response to Clarke’s ministrations and Clarke chuckled softly in response before whispering into her Alpha’s skin, “I’m sorry. The way you were acting, I thought you’d turned on me. I should have known better.”

Lexa shook her head softly, “I would never. I was-“ she hesitated and then lowered her voice, “I was just trying to show off to you. Prove my worth.”

Clarke laughed even louder, but refused to move out of Lexa’s hold. “You don’t need to do that, my love, I already know you are the best Alpha.”

Lexa growled quietly, her mood suddenly turning slightly dark and sullen, “Clearly that is not the case. I still have a lot to prove to you that I am not like the Alphas you are used to.”

Clarke’s breath caught in her throat and her body tensed. Lexa’s response hurt Clarke slightly again. It made her feel as if Lexa was blaming her for the associations she had with Alphas, for the hurt she’d been though. She began to wonder if this latest overreaction, now without heat as an excuse, was finally too much for the commander. She began to worry if she’d lost Lexa to this. She began to try and pull away, but Lexa’s grip only tightened.

Lexa had felt the reaction and once again reviewed what she had said, cursing herself once more when she realized how bad it sounded. And, when Clarke tried to pull away, probably expecting the Alpha to be angry with her, Lexa could only think to hold on tighter and whisper once more into her ear, “That is not your fault, Clarke. You have had terrible things done to you. You have been conditioned to be suspicious of Alphas always and I have already proven myself capable of betrayal once. I do not blame you. And you can’t be rid of me that easy. This just means that I will need to do everything in my power to make you, and the other Omegas from your camp, understand that you are safe and loved and wanted and deserving of respect. And I plan to, oh do I plan to. So, I swear I will do everything in my power to be deserving of the love and trust you have gifted me with. Is that okay?”

Clarke was crying now, but only slightly. A few slow, warm tears streamed down her face and burned into Lexa’s skin as she mumbled a shaky, emotional, “Yes.” 

Lexa smiled and began to rock Clarke back and forth as she resumed her purring. “Good, then, hodnes. In that case, when you are ready, and only when you are ready for there is no rush, let us head to your camp with a party from mine and start the declaration ritual, alright?”

Lexa assumed that the small jerk of Clarke’s head into her chest and tightening of the Omega’s holds on Lexa were agreement, so she held on more firmly herself, strengthened her purr, and raised her head to make sure that there were no threats around them, suddenly remembering that they were in public. But, even though Lexa was ready to defend Clarke in this state by any means necessary, no one was even looking at them. The small crowd that had surrounded them earlier had long since scattered and the few people passing by made an effort to keep their eyes respectfully averted from the situation as they hurried on their way. Even Indra had distanced herself from the pair and was now standing behind a tent nearby and attempting to appear casual. So, content in their safety and relative privacy, Lexa focused back on the Omega in her arms, and thanked the spirits for bringing her Clarke while asking them for the strength to prove herself deserving of the girl who had fallen from the sky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do have a tumblr under the same user name if you want to talk about the story or whatever. I understand that it can be difficult to talk on here.


	10. There is Work to be Done

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke visits the Skaikru Omegas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all! I know this post is short and has taken forever. I'm sorry. I also realize I am evil for this chapter. That is not new information. I've accepted that. Telling me will probably only make it worse. Just know that cliffhangers like these make me slightly more willing to sacrifice sleep to write the next chapter. So take solace from that if you can. I promise I will try to get it posted as soon as I can. As always, I love to hear your comments! Sorry again. I hope you at least enjoy it.

As it turns out, several different generals and representatives from the Trikru’s population of Alphas, Betas, and Omegas needed to be assembled before they could leave for Camp Jaha to start the declaration ritual. And, according to Indra, it would take about an hour to gather and prepare that many people. So, once Clarke had calmed down, they decided that they would spend the time visiting the Skaiku Omegas that had sought sanctuary within Trikru territory and sent Indra off to make the required preparations for the impending ritual. 

As soon as Indra had disappeared behind several tents in her hurry to obey the Heda’s commands, Lexa reached down to clasp Clarke’s hand in her own. They had separated in order to talk with the Beta, but after seeing how much her earlier posturing had accidently hurt Clarke, Lexa wasn’t willing to take any chances by acting tough now. She would do whatever it took to make Clarke that she loved and desired her as someone she wanted at her side as an equal, not just as someone to stand behind her while she led their peoples. And if Lexa were being completely honest with herself, not being able to touch the Omega she already considered her own was gnawing at her insides. She needed to feel Clarke. So, she wrapped her fingers around the soft, warm flesh of Clarke’s palm in hope that the gesture would not be rejected and then had to resist the urge to purr when Clarke’s fingers moved to strengthen the connection. Without a word, she began to lead the blonde toward the other Skaikru Omegas.

Clarke had been surprised when she felt Lexa’s calloused, but gentle hand wrap around her own, but she tried not to show it as she returned the gesture immediately. She could smell Lexa’s hesitance, the Alpha was probably worried that her public display of affection would be rejected by Clarke, it was a foolish fear, really, and Clarke wanted to squash any trace of it in her Alpha’s mind. It would be one of her new goals to encourage this side of Lexa. She may need to be strong, but she’d been the heartless Commander to her people for too long, in Clarke’s opinion. The rush of happy pheromones that Lexa emitted when she wrapped her own fingers around the Alpha’s strong, thin ones made her heart soar as the Commander led her away. 

They walked in silence for several minutes. Eventually, when they began to approach the center of camp, Lexa felt a sudden urge to explain the situation to Clarke before the Omega saw what was going on and got angry. It had been apparent that Clarke was not listening to Indra’s explanations earlier, so the state of things would be a shock to Clarke.

Hesitantly, Lexa said, “We offered them a group of several tents, one each if they wanted it, but they all refused. They insisted that they all wanted to live and sleep in a big tent together. Indra had granted the request because she didn’t want to seem controlling and she had hoped their close proximity would strengthen their courage, but they rarely leave it now. Even for food. We’ve started bringing the food to them to ensure they eat. Indra says she’s worried about just how bad things were on the Ark if they are still this scared. I though you said that Omegas felt generally safe walking around on the Ark?”

Frowning, Clarke considered Lexa’s words. It didn’t make sense that the Omega’s would insist on being all together. She could understand wanting tents of two or three, but all of them in one was odd. Omegas on the Ark had never grouped up like that. And Lexa was right, apart from when they were in heat, most Omegas felt safe walking around by themselves. There were usually so many people around all the time it would be fine. The only danger was when in heat and/or when alone with an Alpha. So their behavior now was concerning.

“That is odd, Lexa. How much longer until we get there? I really need to talk to them,” Clarke said. 

“That is their tent up ahead,” Lexa replied. Puffing out her chest a bit at the sight of the large, clearly carefully built tent that Indra had ordered constructed as soon as the Omegas had asked for only one. It was securely situated in the very middle of camp, offering the best protection and assurances to those inside. She was certain that Clarke would be proud of her for her people’s effort and care. She wanted Clarke to know that she would make every effort to help heal the hurt the Omegas had suffered at the hands of their own people. However, when she turned to look at Clarke’s face to see her reaction, her heart fell. Clarke was livid. Strong puffs of confusion and anger were rolling off of Clarke like clouds of smoke and Lexa wasn’t sure what she had done.

When Clarke registered Lexa’s words, she thought the Alpha had been joking. She knew for a fact that they were in the very middle of the camp and there was no way that Lexa and her people would be foolish enough to place a group of traumatized and terrified Omegas in the middle of a group of people as dominant and dangerous looking as they were. That would be disastrous. They would feel completely trapped and caged in by all of the aggressive and competing pheromones that tended to swirl around the grounder camp. All of their training and posturing still had the tendency to set Clarke on edge and she’d spent weeks’ worth of time here by now. But, when she looked to where Lexa was gesturing and saw the giant tent that hadn’t been there before, she exploded. Granted, the tent was obviously built with care, but this negligence was unacceptable in Clarke’s opinion.

Turning to face Lexa who had apparently already been watching her, Clarke growled out, “What the hell were you thinking, Lexa!?”

Frowning and cowering into herself slightly in response to Clarke’s growl, Lexa was quick to reply, “I’m sorry, hodnes. I do not know what you mean. What is wrong?”

Clarke took a threatening step into Lexa’s space, “Why the hell would you put them in the middle of camp?! Of course they’re terrified!”

Finally understanding what was wrong, Lexa’s frown only deepened into a mask of pure concern as she defended her decision, “I wanted them to feel protected.”

“They’re surrounded by the smell of hundreds of threatening, stranger Alphas with no escape. How is that supposed to make them feel safe? Did you at least make sure that the only tents surrounding them for several rows were Betas?”

Growling slightly, Lexa said, “No! You know I don’t force my people to segregate! We are all equals here.” And then, after taking a sharp breath, Clarke’s point seemed to drive home, “Although, I admit I did not understand how threatening the situation might seem to them. I am sorry Clarke. How can I-“

Clarke didn’t bother listening to the rest of Lexa’s apology. The anger and guilt swirling in her chest over the fact that while she had been happily resting in the Commander’s tent feeling safe and loved for the last few days of her heat, her fellow Omegas had been cowering together in fear, was clouding her judgement. All she could think about was getting in that tent to talk to them and sooth their worries. So she started toward the entrance before Lexa had even finished talking. 

As she approached the tent flaps, she was relieved to see that Lexa had at least ensured that there were only Beta guards blocking her entrance. But, when she got even closer she realized that Lexa was following her only a step behind and she whirled around to face the other girl before entering. “Don’t even think about following me in. You’ll terrify them. Just wait here. You’ve done enough,” she demanded in a snarl. 

She barely noticed the way that Lexa visibly paled, looking way too much like a kicked puppy for Clarke’s liking in the moment, before whirling back around to storm into the tent. She didn’t have to look back to know Lexa would obey.

When she entered the tent, she immediately felt her anger at Lexa drain from her body. The inside of the tent had been painstakingly crafted to ensure the most comfort the relatively small area could possibly provide for the Omegas. Everything seemed to be hand crafted and Clarke wondered briefly how many carpenters and craftsmen were asked to work straight through that first night to accomplish this. There were large, cozy looking bunk-beds lining the walls and even softer looking couches and chairs set up throughout the space. Fuzzy, warm looking furs were strewn everywhere as blankets and rugs. Water and fresh food was sitting on almost every single one of the available tables. She could even see a privacy curtain in the back where the ends of at least five bathtubs could be seen around the corner. Stacks of soft, new clothes were resting everywhere.

The Trikru had really put a lot of clan resources into making them comfortable. Lexa really had made sure that her people were taking the utmost care of the Omegas and, Clarke allowed, the Alpha’s reasoning behind putting them in the middle of camp was sound. She wasn’t an Omega. There was no way she would have understood. Sighing, Clarke glanced back over her shoulder where she knew Lexa would be waiting for her loyally just outside the tent flaps. Without question, she would be there. She regretted snapping at her now, but she had been so infuriated that her people still had reason to be scared in a place she felt so completely safe that she had lashed out. Silently, she promised herself she would apologize to Lexa and make it up to her as soon as she was done here. 

In the meantime, she turned back around to face the open room where the Omegas within were beginning to notice her presence and surround her in excitement. Smiling, she shuffled forward and greeted everyone. Some she recognized and some she didn’t, but after a while they were all seated comfortably in the many chairs and couches Lexa’s people had provided and they began to talk. It took a long time, but eventually she managed to convince the majority of the Omegas that they really were safe in camp. That this wasn’t a trick. They never had to fear being attacked again. And when the news finally seemed to settle in, there had been tears. Lots of tears. And a good amount of group hugging to go with it before they had all finally settled down again.

At that point they had started asking her about Lexa and that was when Clarke remembered she was only supposed to be stopping by for a quick visit while they waited before heading to Camp Jaha. Smiling sheepishly at everyone, she explained the situation and that she needed to leave. They all but shoved her out the door, laughing and wishing her a happy ritual despite not knowing anything about what it was.

Laughing herself and feeling much happier now that she’d talked to them, Clarke promised she would be back as soon as she could and encouraged them one last time to start adventuring out into the camp more before stepping back through the tent flaps. The first thing she saw in the sunlight was Lexa’s tear-stained face and her heart nearly fell out of her chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know. I know.


	11. But It Has To Be Done Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa sort out the tent issue...eventually.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, all! I am really very sorry about the delay. My classes hit hard, really really hard, the last half of the term and there was, at least, a week or so where I just didn't sleep at all as it was, so I didn't have time to get anything up for you guys. I'm sorry! (Whatever you do, don't be an English major with minors in writing and film unless you've figured out how to live without sleep). The good news is that it's spring break now, so I'll have time to post several things over the next week or so. And then next term shouldn't be too bad (please, please, please) so I should start up a somewhat regular rhythm again. As always, I live to read any comments you have. In all honesty, they make my day. Oh, also, it's a real shame that the show ended up being cancelled after the second season. So stupid of them to tell us it had been renewed and then just not air a third season. Really strange. But again, in all honesty, I am here for anybody if they need to talk about what happened. Message me here or on my tumblr and I would be happy to listen and help if I can.

When Clarke had first gotten angry about the placement of the Omega tent, Lexa had been beyond confused. She had thought Clarke would be impressed with how much trouble her people had gone to for Clarke’s friends. For her people. But, when Clarke had explained the problem with increasing amounts of anger, it was all Lexa could do to try and appease that anger by explaining her motives and defending her people’s beliefs of equality among the statuses, even if she did understand Clarke’s point of view. She could see now how terrible her decision must have felt for the Omegas. She had failed them. She had failed Clarke. And she needed to fix it.

Unfortunately, when she tried to tell Clarke she understood, that she was sorry, and ask how she could fix it, Clarke wouldn’t even listen to her. Instead, the blonde Omega turned and started walking away from her before Lexa could even finish getting the words out. Lexa’s inner Alpha howled at the rejection and her heart sank.

Clarke was walking away from her. 

Clarke wouldn’t let her apologize. 

What if Clarke never came back? Had she just lost her forever?

Instinctively, Lexa felt herself moving with the Omega, following behind her in a desperate hope that Clarke would forgive her and come back to her if she managed to stay close enough to show the girl how much she cared. 

Clarke’s pheromones had been an overwhelming swirl of anger, frustration, and, to Lexa’s complete bafflement, guilt. Each wave of the scent felt like a stab to Lexa’s heart, further severing the connection she thought they had been building. But, just before Clarke reached the tent’s entrance, Lexa smelled a slight shift. It was almost like the girl was relieved and calming and Lexa felt her heart soar in her chest. Maybe it was working. Maybe Clarke would forgive her. 

Suddenly, Clarke spun around on the spot to face Lexa and, for a moment, Lexa would have considered every prayer she had ever muttered in her life as answered if this was Clarke turning to tell her she forgave her. But then, another wave of even angrier pheromones hit her and Lexa felt as if every last shred of hope in her heart had just gone up in flames. Especially when Clarke snarled in her face, “Don’t even think about following me in. You’ll terrify them. Just wait here. You’ve done enough.” The words rang in her ears like a death drum. You’ve done enough. You’ve. Done. Enough. She had. She knew she had. She’d failed and made it worse. Lexa swallowed and felt the blood drain out of her face in shame as Clarke spun back around and disappeared into the tent. 

Lexa stood completely frozen. She’d actually lost her. Clarke would talk with the Omegas. She would decide to live with them. And then she would come back out and tell Lexa their mating was off. That she didn’t feel Lexa could be trusted to protect her and her friends. That this failure had destroyed her love for her. And then she would leave. And Lexa would let her go. Even if she loved Clarke with all of her being, she would let her go if that was her wish. She had failed the blonde after all. She had promised to protect her friends and only ended up making them more scared. Maybe she really couldn’t be trusted.

Lowering her gaze to the ground, Lexa tried to control the emotions overwhelming her. Taking a few deep breaths, she prepared herself for what was to come. As much as she wanted to turn, run back to her own tent, and disappear where no one could see her, Clarke had told her to wait where she stood, so she was going to wait. She had brought this on herself and she would just have to accept Clarke’s rejection with as much strength as possible. Although, that strength probably wouldn’t last very long. Her only hope was that it would be long enough for her to listen to all Clarke has to say and then leave. So, she took several more deep breaths and tried to prevent the tears that were building up in her eyes from spilling over.

But, the longer Clarke stayed in the tent, the more time Lexa had to think about what she’d lost, and the harder it became to keep the tears in check. After about an hour, when Indra came and informed Lexa that the proper people had been gathered and were ready to go whenever she was ready, Lexa couldn’t hold it in anymore. She didn’t even have the strength to tell Indra the ritual party was no longer necessary. Instead, she just nodded and listened as Indra said she would have everyone wait. Then, as soon as the general walked away, the tears tipped over the edge and from that moment on there was just a silent stream of tears running down her face. She didn’t try to stop it. She knew there was no use. So, she stood, chin held high, tears streaming down her face, and she waited for her Omega – No. She shook her head slightly and mentally corrected herself. She had lost any hope she’d ever had for the right to call Clarke hers – she waited for the Omega to come back out of the tent. Anyone who saw her tears respectfully averted their gazes, thinking it best not to ask or do anything to provoke the clearly already upset Alpha.

After about another hour, the tears had finally begun to slow to only one or two every few minutes and Lexa suddenly started hearing movement and then, oddly enough, giggling approach the tent flaps from the other side. She couldn’t hear what was being said, but her heart constricted in her chest when she heard the melodic sound of Clarke’s laughter drift to her. She barely had another moment to prepare herself before Clarke’s golden hair appeared through the flaps, quickly followed by the rest of her, and Lexa’s breathing died in her chest. Clarke was so beautiful. Always so beautiful. She loved her so much. And she’d lost her forever. Lexa was suddenly unsure if she even had enough strength to make it through one second of Clarke’s rejection without breaking forever, let alone the whole thing. But she remained where she was and braced herself anyway.

When Clarke stepped out from the tent and her eyes landed on Lexa, the small smile that had been playing at the edges of her mouth fell away completely into one of shock and horror. Lexa’s heart sank even further, if that were even possible, and she prepared herself for the renewed burst of anger she was sure to follow that expression. But, Clarke merely remained frozen for several seconds. 

Clarke didn’t know what to do. When she first saw Lexa’s face as she exited the tent, she had assumed that something terrible had happened. She had never seen Lexa openly cry in public like this, so she waited in shock for a moment because she assumed that Lexa would immediately launch into whatever the issue was. Her mind raced for answers. Had there been an attack? Were her friends ok? But when Lexa simply stood there, looking at her with that distraught expression, and seemingly waiting for Clarke to speak first, Clarke dismissed the possibility of a terrible event. 

So, while internally trying her best to figure out what had Lexa so upset, Clarke took a hesitant step closer to the Alpha, but then immediately froze when she saw Lexa tilt back slightly, almost as if the other girl had attempted to suppress a flinch by locking her muscles. 

It was a movement Clarke recognized from the time she had spent when she was young, before she had presented as an Omega, helping her mom work. They would see it in Omegas who had particularly aggressive Alpha mates who liked to beat them and would only beat them harder if they flinched. The Omegas had developed a way to stop flinching by locking their muscles down, that way they would only be able to sway slightly, not flinch completely. 

Even when they came into see them, usually after they’d had an especially bad beating, they would still lock down this way if her mother made too fast of a movement. Which had happened a little too often for Clarke’s liking. Something she really should have paid more attention to at the time. Maybe if she had, she wouldn’t have been so surprised that her mom turned out to be an Omega-hating control freak when Clarke finally did present.

But now Lexa had made that movement. She had made THAT movement. An Alpha had made that movement. In response to her, Clarke, an Omega, her lover – or, soon to be lover. And Clarke felt as if her whole world had tilted on its axis. Why was Lexa afraid of her? What the hell happened? Clarke thought back to the few moments before she had entered the tent and couldn’t think of anything she’d done that would cause this reaction. Confused, she decided to try and relax the Alpha.

But, she’d never been on this side before. She’d never had someone she loved afraid of her before. She had no clue what to do, what would work. So, Clarke did the one thing she could think of that was sure to make an Alpha feel more secure – she submitted. She dropped her shoulders and her eyes, turned her head to the side and down so that her neck and throat were completely exposed, and started pumping out the most calming and submissive Omega pheromones she could manage. And then she waited.

When Clarke had taken a step toward her, Lexa was ashamed to admit she had to hold herself back from dropping to her knees and begging for forgiveness. Every cell in her body had screamed at her to throw all caution to the wind and do whatever it took to get Clarke back. But she knew she couldn’t. She’d never forgive herself if she manipulated Clarke in that way. So, she’d locked her body down and held in the urge in the same way she had learned to avoid submitting to the bigger Alphas all those years ago when she was just a skinny thirteen-year-old who had just presented. And yet, Clarke did not advance on her. She didn’t start yelling. She didn’t even talk. Clarke froze and stared at Lexa for several long seconds and Lexa had no idea what to do. And then Clarke submitted.

Clarke full on submitted.

They were in the middle of camp, right in front of the tent housing all of the Omegas from her own people, and Clarke completely lowered her walls for Lexa. 

Lexa found herself completely surrounded in the sweetest, most submissive Omega pheromones she had ever smelled. It was calling to her to protect and claim the girl in a way that was so warming and different than it had been during Clarke’s heat that Lexa felt as if it was the first time she had smelled the girl all over again. And Lexa was so lost about what was going on that she actually whimpered. 

Whimpered.

Clarke’s eyes snapped back up to Lexa’s face. Whimpering was something else she never would have imagined the commander ever doing in public and, to be honest, it scared her. What the hell was she doing that kept upsetting Lexa so much? She wasn’t sure what else she could do to make Lexa feel more comfortable, so she decided to try talking to her instead. Quietly, so as not to seem threatening, Clarke said, “Lex? What’s wrong, Lexa?”

Clarke watched as Lexa’s eyes scanned her face. Searching for what, Clarke wasn’t sure, but after a moment the Alpha seemed to find it because the brunette took a slow step forward, so that she was standing only a few inches in front of Clarke, and then, to Clarke’s complete and utter horror, the commander dropped to her knees. 

Clarke gasped and immediately looked up to scan their surroundings for potential witnesses. Oddly enough, not many people were around. In fact, other than the Beta guards standing behind her and the half of Indra she could see poking out from behind a tent not far away, there was no one around to see this. Which was strange, considering they were in the middle of camp, but Clarke didn’t give it that much thought because the sound of Lexa clearing her throat slightly before talking had Clarke’s eyes shooting right back down to Lexa’s face. Frantically, Clarke’s mind was trying everything in its power to understand what was going on.

Lexa cleared her throat one more time, really hoping that it wouldn’t be too affected by her tears from earlier, and then whispered, “I understand that I have failed you again, ai hodnes. I understand that and I am sorry. Truly, truly sorry. I will do whatever it takes to fix this problem, you must only tell me what that is. And I would like to beg you to give me one more chance to prove my worth. Though I want you to know that if you decide to leave me ov-“

Lexa was stopped mid-sentence when Clarke suddenly dropped to her knees as well and surrounded Lexa in soft, yet strong arms, a cloud of loving and happy pheromones, and a wave of blonde hair that hit Lexa in the face as Clarke tucked her head into Lexa’s neck while hugging her. 

Now realizing that the problem was that Lexa thought she was going to leave her, Clarke immediately began to speak, “I’m not leaving you. I’m never leaving you. I’m sorry I yelled earlier. I’m not mad anymore. You were only trying to help and I couldn’t see that because I was feeling guilty about something else. It’s okay. I love you. I’m here.”

After a few seconds of being held and soothed by Clarke, Lexa felt the tears spill over her eyes again and seep into the blonde hair still covering her face. In all honesty, she was glad the hair was there to hide her weakness. But at the same time, she just felt incredibly grateful that she had been forgiven and clutched at Clarke for several long minutes. Clarke kept whispering reassurances in Lexa’s ear the whole time. 

Eventually, when Clarke felt Lexa’s tears dry up, she pulled back slightly to rest her forehead on Lexa’s. Then, she slowly pulled a hand from behind Lexa’s head so that she could gently wipe away the tear tracks, suddenly really glad Lexa had decided to go without the war paint for the day. 

After another few minutes of staring into each other’s eyes and taking deep breaths, Lexa spoke quietly, her voice scratchy from the crying, “It seems it was my turn to jump to a drastic assumption, my love.”

Clarke chuckled and leaned forward to place a slow, loving kiss on Lexa’s lips. When she pulled back, she looked into Lexa’s dazed expression and whispered back, “Normally, I’d say it’s about time, but I really think we need to stop this pattern. Did you really think I was going to leave you?”

Lexa nodded solemnly. “When you walked away and then told me I had done enough, I thought you meant overall. I thought that was it. I’m sorry, ai hodnes. I agree, we must find a way to break this pattern.”

Clarke hummed sadly and nuzzled the side of Lexa’s face softly. “You don’t have to apologize for this Lexa. You did nothing wrong. And I completely overreacted about the tent. You were only trying to help. I’m the one who should be apologizing. I’m sorry for overreacting and I’m sorry for putting you through this pain.”

Lexa’s hands, which had been locked in the front of Clarke’s coat for several minutes, suddenly broke free so that she could cup both sides of Clarke’s face. She shook her head, “You do not have to apologize either, I understand why you reacted that way and it is not your fault I reacted this way.”

Clarke chuckled again and shook her own head slightly. “Alright, then. If neither of us have to say we’re sorry, maybe we should just focus on figuring out how to keep these assumptions from happening more.”

Lexa nodded, thinking hard.

Clarke watched Lexa’s face as she thought and it was one of the best sights she had ever seen. Even better than Earth from space. Even better than Earth from Earth. After a few seconds, she realized she was supposed to be thinking too, but couldn’t seem to tear her attention away from Lexa’s stunning features long enough to really try. Luckily, a moment later Lexa seemed to come up with something.

Her eyes locked with Clarke’s and she asked in a hesitant, almost shy voice, “Do you think it is possible we both keep reacting this way because, even though we feel like we are already each other’s, we are not officially so? So we feel insecure about our connection and overreact when the small things threaten it?”

A large smile broke out across Clarke’s face. That would certainly make sense to her. She had felt really insecure about the status of their connection to each other in her assumptions. “I think that could be it, yeah,” Clarke replied.

Lexa let the ghost of a smile appear on her face as she nodded once more. “Very well. Then, as soon as we are finally mated, that should go away. Until then, we should agree that if we suddenly start feeling unsure, we will immediately seek out the other person and talk it through, no matter what, so that we can avoid these scenes.”

Clarke nodded earnestly. “Yes, I think that is a good plan. Which reminds me,” Clarke paused and looked around for a second. Then, she carefully pulled both of them into a standing position before whispering into Lexa’s ear, “Don’t we have a ritual to get to?”

Lexa would have replied, she really would have, but as soon as Clarke was done speaking, the blonde pulled her into a kiss that just went on and on until Lexa had completely forgotten the question, her own name, her title as commander, and anything else that wasn’t Clarke’s lips. When they finally broke apart, Lexa was completely flushed and out of breath, but she somehow still wanted more. She even tried to follow Clarke’s lips as the blonde pulled away, but Clarke only laughed softly, making Lexa’s heart melt further, and pushed Lexa back gently by a hand on her shoulder. After a second of staring at Clarke’s lips and wondering why she had been separated from them, Lexa remembered that she had been asked a question, although she had no idea what that question had been. Slowly, because she was still in a swirling daze of pheromones, love, and lust, Lexa looked back up to Clarke’s sparkling, mischievous eyes and asked a simple, “What?”

Clarke laughed again, long and loud this time, before she shifted her hands so that she was grasping one of Lexa’s. She began pulling the Alpha toward the Beta general scowling at them from behind the tent Clarke had seen her waiting near earlier. Lexa followed without resistance, even if she was still clearly out of it, and Clarke looked over her shoulder one last time before they reached Indra and said, “Come on Lex, you’ve gotta make me yours.”

Lexa’s Alpha roared at the thought and she couldn’t suppress the dangerous smirk that appeared on her face as she snapped out of her haze and matched her stride with the Omega’s, a new mission in sight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do have a tumblr under the same user name. I don't post updates there (people from my real life have that account name and I don't want to have to explain the Omega verse to them. Please.) but I am happy to receive any comments or messages you have. You can feel free to message me anytime! I understand it can be difficult to talk on here. Also, to those of you who did message me anonymously, I tried to thank you with text notes, but I'm not sure if you saw them. If not, thank you so much for your messages! They mean more than you could imagine. Especially when I wasn't sleeping.


	12. I'll Tell You Something I think You'll Understand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The ritual.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know. I'm sorry. It's been a rough few months. I'm trying.
> 
> As always, I'd love to hear what you guys think, if anyone is still there.
> 
> Thanks!

Eventually, after enduring many snide remarks from Indra about the amount of time the two young leaders had wasted on emotional scenes in the past day alone, the three women finally managed to end up in the small clearing just on the edge of the camp where the ritual party was waiting. Most of the members of the party were no longer on their horses, having been waiting in the clearing for over an hour at this point, and some even appeared to be taking naps near a grouping of bushes, but all of them snapped to attention as soon as the women arrived. Once they did, Indra left the two leaders with a last mumbled remark that sounded suspiciously like she was accusing them of being ‘idiotic and overly emotional babies,’ but Clarke was barely paying attention enough to notice. Instead, she was entranced by the people that had been called together for this ritual.

As Lexa had warned her, the group appeared to be an assortment of Alphas, Betas, and Omegas of about equal numbers. However, Clarke was completely unprepared for the eclectic variety in the kinds of people that were there. As far as she could tell, there were only three warriors in the bunch in addition to Indra, one of each standing, who were all decked out in their armor and weapons. The rest of the people seemed to be from every aspect of life possible. There were blacksmiths, bakers, healers, handmaidens, housewives, househusbands, farmers, a few teenagers, a few elders, and even a man who Clarke was fairly certain was this camp’s equivalent of the town drunk. And they were all suddenly very focused on Clarke and Lexa as everyone began to mount their horses and prepare for the ride to the Sky People’s camp. 

Suddenly feeling very self-conscious under all of their gazes, Clarke found herself tensing up and shutting down for the next several minutes. She wasn’t even really sure why she was doing it, she had been stared at before, a lot if she was being perfectly honest with herself, and it had never been a problem. But, something about the way this group was analyzing her and surrounding her in this particular situation, just as they were about to go announce her mating intentions to her people, was completely overwhelming Clarke. 

As a result, not much of the next several minutes really registered in Clarke’s mind. She knows Lexa made a small statement to the group, though what she said went straight through one of Clarke’s ears and out the other, and then Clarke somehow managed to climb onto her own horse and start riding along the road in the dead center of the group next to Lexa. But, the only thing Clarke could really focus on was the fact that she was completely out of her element and really didn’t understand what was going on or what was about to happen.

Lexa was worried. Clarke seemed to be lost in her own world frozen inside her own head and had completely stopped responding to Lexa and the things going on around them. At first, when Clarke hadn’t said anything after Lexa’s rallying speech and sincere thank you to the group, she assumed nerves had caught up to the blonde and so she tried her best to soothe the Omega by rubbing her back softly and pumping out calming pheromones as she helped her climb onto the back of her horse. But Clarke didn’t even seem to notice. 

Lexa didn’t let it worry her at first. Clarke’s pheromones weren’t troubled, just muted and slightly confused, and Lexa was confident that Clarke would snap out of her thoughts in a minute or two, or when they started moving at the very latest. But now they had been riding for several minutes and Clarke was still tense and unresponsive and Lexa had to admit that she was worried. The members of the ritual party kept glancing at them and frowning in confusion and concern, it was their job to detect if something was wrong or off about the pair declaring their intentions to mate after all, and Lexa was really, really getting worried. She didn’t want the ritual party to have any reason to doubt her and Clarke’s devotion to each other. Such doubts would only lead to a challenge and Lexa really didn’t want to have to fight anyone today.

So, after another minute of silence where the only thing going through Lexa’s mind was their most recent conversation about communication, Lexa made up her mind and started angling her horse closer to Clarke’s until their knees were brushing each other’s saddle with every one of their horse’s steps. Once she was close enough, Lexa carefully leaned over so that she could stoke Clarke’s face with one hand while she whispered in her ear, “Clarke, please come back to me, ai hodnes. Where have you gone? Clarke?”

After a few minutes of quiet cooing, Lexa was relieved to finally see Clarke’s eyes sharpen as she was eventually pulled out of her mind and into awareness again. The Omega blinked unsteadily for a minute, looking around and assessing what was going on, before she eventually turned to stare directly into Lexa’s eyes with a small, but happy, smile on her face. She giggled softly, “Sorry, Lex. I got kind of overwhelmed and my mind froze up on me for a bit.”

Lexa smiled back, still stroking Clarke’s face with her hand. “Not to worry, love. It happens to everyone. But please tell me, why were you overwhelmed?”

Clarke’s smile faltered for a second as she glanced around at the ritual party and noted that they all kept glancing in their direction every few seconds. No matter what, there was always someone watching what she and Lexa were doing. It seemed to unnerve her and Lexa frowned at the spike in nervous pheromones coming from the blonde.

Turning back to Lexa, Clarke said in an even softer voice, barely audible over the hoof beats, “I guess I just suddenly realized I don’t really know what’s going on or what to expect from this ritual. Why do they keep staring at me, Lexa?”

Lexa let out a small sigh and shook her head in relief and disbelief at her own idiocy. How could she have forgotten to go over the details of the ritual with Clarke? After that first day when they discussed their desire to mate, they had really barely talked about what this ritual entailed beyond the fact that they needed to do it to start the mating process in Lexa’s culture. Shaking her head again, Lexa smiled softly at her Omega and was again relieved when Clarke’s pheromones started calming in response to the gesture. “I suppose that is something important for you to know,” Lexa joked softly.

Clarke rolled her eyes in response. “You think,” she deadpanned.

Lexa flashed another smile before launching into an explanation, still stroking Clarke’s face and practically whispering into the girl’s ear simply because she was enjoying the closeness. “This ritual was designed for mating between the clans. You see, in the beginning there were several instances of people being forced into mating with members of other clans for one reason or another, which has always been against our culture, but no one was able to notice until one or both of the mates looked completely miserable or uncomfortable after the mating.” Lexa paused.

“What reasons were they forced? Do you not have political mating here?” Clarke asked, confused.

“We do have political and arranged mating here,” Lexa said hesitantly. “But, there are very specific situations and steps that are taken in those instances. There is an official way to do those to ensure the safety and happiness of all involved.”

Clarke nodded.

“These forced mating instances were more of the abusive or manipulative kind,” Lexa continued. “We would find out later that someone had been slowly tearing down their partner or friend in another clan, sometimes even family members would team up on a child, emotionally and physically until they were able to manipulate and force them into mating with them or someone else for one reason or another. Sometimes it was for unofficial trading reasons. Sometimes power. Or family debts. Sometimes I think it was just because some people are like that. But the problem we had was that these people would be broken down and coerced into thinking they wanted to mate and then the next thing anyone would know was that they were mated and being hauled off to another clan completely miserable and tied to either an abuser or someone they had no connection to whatsoever.”

Clarke nodded again seeming very sad and Lexa wondered if similar things happened on the Ark. If they did, based on what she has heard about life on the Ark before, she realized it was likely that they were common and accepted in Clarke’s community. There may have even been moments in Clarke’s life where the Omega believed it would or was in danger of having it happen to her. A sharp pain shot through Lexa’s heart at the thought and she subconsciously pulled the Omega closer and tucked her chin into the girl’s neck, whining slightly. 

Clarke seemed to understand what Lexa was thinking because soon a soft hand found its way to Lexa’s thigh while soothing hums were pressed into the top of Lexa’s head. After a moment, the sharp pain diminished and Lexa sat up slightly to meet Clarke’s eyes. “Sorry,” Lexa murmured. 

Clarke shook her head slightly and gave her a soft smile without speaking, but her eyes spoke louder than any words and Lexa knew that Clarke understood and appreciated what Lexa had been thinking. The hand on Lexa’s thigh squeezed slightly but did not move and Lexa took a deep breath in response, preparing herself to continue. 

“Anyway,” Lexa said softly, trying to remember where she left off. “Once this problem became widely known among clan leaders, they came up with this ritual as a way of preventing it. They made it illegal to mate between clans without going through the declaration ritual and promised extremely harsh punishment to anyone who didn’t do it. The ritual itself is fairly simple. The intended mates must gather a group of people from one of their clans – usually the clan of either the Alpha or the more dominant pursuer in the relationship - and travel to the home clan of the other mate. The group of people must be a collection of Alphas, Betas, and Omegas from every walk of life and social standing. There must only be three warriors in the party. This is done in hopes that their combined life experiences will allow them to catch every sign possible that the relationship between the intended mates is at all unbalanced or forced. On the journey to the other clan it is the party’s job to analyze the pair as closely as possible, scrutinizing their every interaction, and decide for themselves based on what they know about life, love and mating, whether or not they believe our dedication to one another to be mutual, sincere, and loving. If any of them have any concerns, they are supposed to discuss it with the others and decide what to do. If they decide the concerns are strong and valid enough, they will approach the warriors and have one or more of them challenge the dominant mate during the ritual.”

At Clarke’s horrified look, Lexa paused and smiled again. “It’s okay, ai hodnes. As I told you before, that is the purpose of this ritual and it is not a fight to the death. When the party gets to the clan of the other mate, that mate must announce to their home why they are there – in your case that might involve a little more explanation and reassurance than is present when the ritual takes place in clans that know what it is – and then announce that anyone who doubts or challenges our relationship has the right to challenge the Alpha or more dominant pursuer mate in a fight in front of everyone. At this point, any who challenge from your clan and however many warriors from my clan that have been elected by the party to challenge me, if there are any, will line up and have the opportunity to fight me until one of us is unconscious or otherwise incapacitated. Then, if I am the victor, I would move on to the next challenger and the next until either I lose or I have defeated all challengers. The point of this is that it is assumed that only my true devotion for you will keep me fighting through however many challengers appear and, if there are too many challengers for me to handle, then clearly there are too many doubts about the relationship for it to be allowed to proceed into a mating. If there are no challengers or I manage to defeat all that present, then we are allowed to mate and marry and be on our way. Does that make sense, hodnes?”

Clarke still looked upset about the prospect of Lexa fighting anyone, let alone multiple people, but she nodded slowly. “I think so,” she said eventually. “Although I am now really concerned about how they might have interpreted my freeze earlier,” she continued as her eyes darted around nervously without really focusing on the people watching them.

Lexa laughed slightly. “There is no need to worry, hodnes. I admit, they looked concerned at the time, but they have also been watching our interactions since then very closely and I have seen a number of them smiling amusedly and lovingly in our direction as we talk. The rest no longer look skeptical, just determined.”

Clarke let herself look around at the people more closely and was relieved to see that Lexa was right. A number of the party members were glancing their way with smirks and smiles firmly planted on their faces. One of the warriors even met Clarke’s eye as she looked their way and winked at her before looking away. Clarke blushed and let out a long breath. Lexa chuckled again at her side and Clarke swatted her thigh slightly in retaliation before finally pulling it away and leaning away from Lexa so that she was sitting straight on her horse for the first time in a long time. Her back cracked in relief and she groaned softly.

Lexa was disappointed at the loss, but was amused when she heard Clarke groan and straightened out as well to settle back into the ride, although she kept her horse close enough to Clarke’s horse that their legs continues to brush because she simply couldn’t force herself to give up the contact. Clarke chuckled softly. 

“How long before we reach my camp?” Clarke asked after a few minutes.

“It will not be long, now,” Lexa replied. “You should prepare for what you are going to say. As I mentioned, it must be you to announce the ritual to your people.”

Clarke nodded and spent the next several minutes trying to find a concise way to explain to her people what was happening and that she was okay and wanted this. However, every now and then she found her mind spiraling into worried thoughts about who might challenge Lexa on her behalf. Often settling on the worry that her people might take this as an opportunity to try to fight and harm Lexa simply because they wanted to, not because of their relationship, and that scared her to death. Although, every time this happened, Lexa seemed to notice the change in her almost immediately and would reach over to comfort the Omega with a pat on the leg or a stroke on her arm. Eventually, while Lexa was in the middle of stroking Clarke’s arm yet again, Clarke gave up all appearances and simply grabbed Lexa’s hand in her own and clutched it for the rest of the journey. And that was how they rode up to the gates at the Camp Jaha nearly forty minutes later.

When the party stopped outside of the gates, Lexa tried to pull her hand away softly, most likely out of a desire to allow Clarke to appear as independent and strong as she wished, but Clarke needed the support and merely clutched the hand tighter and shot her a pleading look in response. Lexa nodded understandingly and left her hand where it was, squeezing reassuringly. 

Luckily the guards at the gate didn’t seem threatened by the party at all and immediately started to allow them entrance. At first Clarke assumed it was because their group was so obviously not a war party, and that may have been part of it, but as they moved into the camp she noticed that one of Lexa’s messengers was waiting just inside the gate by their horse and she realized that they must have sent someone ahead of them to warn the camp they were coming. Slowly, they all dismounted their horses and left them with a few Sky People who had come to take them, before moving carefully into the area of camp where people had already started to gather in preparation. 

Clarke noticed that the ritual party had fallen behind Lexa and Clarke as they walked toward her people and she could barely hear them muttering to each other in rushed, hushed, Trigedasleng. She didn’t know what they were saying, but she knew they were discussing their conclusions on the relationship and she sincerely hoped they would decide to have none of their warriors challenge Lexa. 

When they finally reached the place the Sky People had gathered to greet them, Clarke was relieved to see several of her friends in the crowd. Bellamy, Monty, and Raven rushed forward in greeting and gave her quick hugs. Each of them asked her if she was okay in hushed tones, shooting suspicious glances toward Lexa – whose hand Clarke had finally released in order to hug her friends - and the grounders in between frantic scans of Clarke’s body as they searched for any damage and signs of distress. She assured them she was fine and eventually they nodded and stepped back, although Bellamy, being the only Alpha among them, sent several more suspicious glares in Lexa’s direction as he stepped back to the rest of the crowd. Clarke was touched to see Lexa doing her absolute best to ignore him for Clarke’s sake. 

Then, Clarke’s eyes landed on her mother who was standing at the front of the group looking like she wanted to come and greet Clarke with a hug as well, but wasn’t sure if it would be accepted. Clarke nodded to her in greeting and she nodded back sadly, accepting that was all she was going to get. After scanning the crowd one more time, noticing all of the familiar faces that now circled her and Lexa, she took a deep breath and launched into the announcement she had prepared. 

“As I’m sure you all have heard, I was struck by my heat during my latest round of discussions with Commander Lexa.” She paused as she noticed that several of the members in the crowd, mostly the few Omegas who had chosen to stay, flinch at her words. “It is alright,” Clarke continued, “it was this incident that led me to discover that the people here have a much different view of Alpha, Beta, and Omega rights and actions. The Commander did not take advantage of me. She did not hurt me and she barely even allowed herself to touch me to push me away during the times that I, admittedly, tried to throw myself at her as she helped me through my heat. As I’m sure you heard when her new decrees went through, her people believe that Alphas can in fact control themselves and that Omegas do not deserve to be beaten and taken advantage of simply for being Omegas.” At those words several of the Alphas seemed to look guilty, most likely because this was something they had discovered about themselves years ago, but had accepted their cultures beliefs and played into them nonetheless. To her utmost surprise, however, Bellamy looked the guiltiest out of them all and Clarke made a mental note to herself to bring it up with him at a later, less public, moment.

“In fact,” she continued again, “during this time and once my heat was over, Commander Lexa and I had time to talk, which allowed us to reveal our feelings toward each other. We love each other and wish to mate. But, in her culture a ritual must be performed before that is allowed to happen to insure that no one is being forced into a mating they do not actually want. That is what this is. So, if there is anyone out there who doubts our devotion to each other or who wishes to challenge our mating, you have this opportunity to fight Lexa. If you incapacitate her, then our mating is off, but it she incapacitates you and anyone else who challenges, then she has successfully proven the sincerity of our mating. The group of people that we have brought with us are here for the same purpose. They have been watching us and if they believe we are insincere, they will challenge Lexa as well.” Clarke nodded one final time and looked over to Lexa.

Lexa had watched Clarke address her people, the people who had caused her so much pain in her life, with such conviction and leadership that her heart expanded and beat hard in her chest, struggling to contain the amount of love it held for the girl. When Clarke’s speech started winding down, Lexa snapped herself back into focus on what she needed to be doing and slowly began removing her coat, tossing it to Indra in the crowd, and preparing for any challengers. When Clarke nodded and turned to her, she nodded as well and, in the most commanding voice she could muster at the moment, her nerves spiking more than she cared to admit, she said, “All challengers step forward now.”

Clarke held her breath and looked around frantically. Her first instinct was to check the warriors they had brought with them, but they were all casually standing in the back of the crowd and smiling at her. 

Relieved, she then moved her attention to her own people. To her surprise, she saw several Alphas who looked absolutely murderous. They were glaring at Lexa and pumping out the most dominating Alpha pheromones they could muster, but they were not stepping forward. Clarke realized that, although she recognized all of them, she had never interacted with any of them, which means that they are most likely Alphas who lost their Omegas or despised Lexa for her new decrees about Omega treatment and wanted to hurt her for it. However, they were not stepping forward. She saw one of them glance to the side grumpily before fixing her eyes back on Lexa and, when she followed the angry female Alpha’s line of sight, she saw her mom. 

Abby was standing where she had been before, but now she was shooting a death glare at all of the Alphas who were acting up and clearly emitting a warning growl of protection. She must have actually listened to what Clarke had said the other day and told the other Alphas not to do anything. Clarke’s heart did a funny stutter in her chest and she felt a strange amount of affection for her mother in that moment. It wasn’t much, but it was the first time in a really long time that her mother had really listened to her and done something, anything really, against other Alphas for Clarke’s benefit alone. And Clarke felt like her mom might actually love her some and it took her almost a fully minute to regain her composure and break her eyes away from Abby to continue to scan the crowd. To her surprise, no one seemed to be stepping forward, although Bellamy kept fidgeting in a way that was starting to really scare Clarke.

After another minute or so, he cleared his throat, breaking what had become an almost deadly silence in the gathering. Then, he spoke haltingly, “May I- I mean, can – Would it be okay if I asked Clarke something, before I decide? Is that allowed?”

Everyone’s eyes flicked to Lexa, whose attention had been completely focused on the angry Alphas until Bellamy’s interruption. Clarke hadn’t noticed it before, but Lexa looked like she was so tense she would leap on anyone who made the slightest movement. When the young Alpha leader turned to face him, she moved with a stiff gracefulness that reminded Clarke of a lion preparing to pounce on the prey it had been stalking. For a moment Clarke was worried that Lexa would take the fact that Bell had spoken as challenge enough. But, after a moment, she nodded her head jerkily and then remained fixed on Bellamy as if she expected him to be using this as a ploy to attack her while she was off guard. 

Bellamy nodded back quickly before flicking his eyes back to Clarke, not daring to take even one step forward as she asked in a soft, concerned voice, “Princess?”

Clarke knew exactly what Bellamy was asking in that one word. From the moment he spoke up, she knew her wasn’t doing it because he wanted her for himself or anything like that, they had never been romantic toward each other. In fact, they both felt they had developed a bond that was very similar to the one he shared with Octavia, as he had once told her after a night of drinking a few weeks after she reconciled their peoples. He had admitted that he thought of her as another sister that he needed to look after and, while at times that angered Clarke because she got tired of Alphas constantly trying to control and protect her, she was also very touched and happy because she loved and looked up to him like a big brother as well. So, in that one word, the title that their rag-tag bunch of delinquent friends had given her so long ago, she understood him to be asking her if she was really okay. If she really wanted this. If she needed him to step in. And so she smiled at him as best she could, touched by his concern but also still very tense about the situation, and she said in a voice that carried all of the emotion she could muster, “It’s my choice, Bell. I love her.”

He studied her eyes for exactly five seconds after that. Five seconds. And then he smiled, nodded, and dropped his eyes to the ground to show his nonthreatening intentions. The entire camp seemed to let out a breath at that. 

After several more tense seconds of waiting, Indra stepped forward with Lexa’s coat and announced, “The declaration ritual had been completed successfully without challenge. The intended mates are now free to move forward with their mating at their own pace with the full support of both of their peoples. Congratulations.” 

And just like that it was like the bubble of tense energy that had been building in the camp finally popped and people were cheering and rushing forward to congratulate them. But Clarke barely even noticed because as soon as Indra stopped talking, she found herself completely enveloped in Lexa’s arms, cradled by Lexa’s body, and overwhelmed by the most intense, happy, relieved, and loving kiss she had ever experienced being pressed onto her lips. She didn’t hesitate to kiss back.


End file.
